Pictures of Abby

First Night

Well it is 5:30am and we are almost through the first night with Abby. Man, she is cute. I will be good to get home and upload some pictures for you to see. It was a long night. I forgot how different it is having a newborn. I can't just put on Veggie Tales and go back to bed. Yesterday I was cursing Phil Visher, today I am realizing that he is a necessary annoiance.

I think that I am a parinoid dad. I always check to see if the baby is OK if she is quiet for a long period of time. I also jump up if I hear even the slightest noise wondering if she is fine. I was holding her earlier tonight and she felt hot so I grabbed the nurses nifty thermometer and checked her temperature. She was 99.9. I called the nurse and he came in and checked and she was 99.9. I figured that she was sick, but he just told me to take some blankets off of her as she was wrapped like a burrito on a hot mexican summer day.

I need to realize that God is in control of my little Abby's life. He kept her alive and growing in the womb and He will keep her growing outside of it. I sometimes forget that I am not in control and get all freaked out and worried. I hate when people say that they need to "let go and let God" so I am not going to say it, but I do need to trust my father and Abby's father more.

She is nursing now, so hopefully Amy and I can get some sleep. Thank you Jesus for this new journey and our new little girl Abby.

Abby Jayne Cunningham

So, we have a brand new baby girl. Her name is Abby Jayne Cunningham. She was born at 12:15 pm on Monday July 31, 2006. Abby weighed in at 9lbs 3oz. and was 20 " long. She is totally cute and healthy. I love her so much already. Amy did great, she is my new hero. I will post pictures as soon as I can.

Thanks for your prayers.

Phil

Here we go.

We are at the hospital waiting to have our baby. It is exciting and scary. I am proud of Amy. I think that she is going to do great, I hope I can go without saying anything stupid.

Later

Cigar

Well, it looks like tomorrow I will be smoking one of these bad boy's. Yep, that is right. My baby girl will be born. We are going into the hospital at 7:00 am or so to have a baby. If you think of us please pray. Sheesh, here we go again. Good times, I can't wait.

So tonight Amy and I sat with Emma and thought about how things are going to change. We took our video camera and asked Emma to say some words for the baby. She told her that she will see her tomorrow and that she will be changing her poopy diapers. Sweet.

Well good night to you all and I will write again when I am with my new baby girl.

Ride the Ducks

Yesterday I went on Ride The Ducks with Amy, Emma and her mom and dad. It was great. Seriously, it ruled. As a local in satellite I figured it would be cheesy and embarrassing. Well it was that, but I did learn a lot about my city that I haven't known until now. Also, as we were down town on the tour there was a guy shooting at people at the Jewish Federation offices 4 blocks away. It was quite the time.

Anyway, if you are ever in Seattle and looking for something to do, or if you are a local and have people coming to visit and you want them to spend $22 on you then I encourage you to Ride The Ducks.

Emma even got to drive.

Invisible Children

Tonight was our final night of Mission Adventures for the summer of 2006. WOW! Tonight we watched the Invisible Children video and talked about purpose. The Invisible Children tells a story of thousands of children between the ages of 8-14 in N. Uganda who are abducted and forced to fight in the Lords Resistance Army (LRA). The LRA kidnaps children and forces them to fight for them. They teach them how to kill or be killed. The reason that they chose children is that they are the most teachable and obedient. Sort of like people get children as slaves because they are better workers. It is sick. The leader of the LRA is a man named Joseph Kony.

The Invisible Children video documents these children who leave their homes in the village and walk for miles each night into the city centers to sleep in safety. The reason they walk is to avoid getting kidnapped. 3 guy's went to N. Uganda and documented this injustice and there is change happening as a result.

Tonight I challenged the students to wake up. Wake up and become aware of the injustice that is all over our world. Wake up and do something. We have the power to change the world, but we are to busy sitting on our asses waiting for someone else to do it. Well no one else is doing it, they are waiting for us. I encourage you to check out the Invisible Children and see what God would have you do.

Thanks.

Crazy from the heat

I am not complaining, well not to much, but it is real hot in Seattle. These last few day's it has been in the 90's. That is fahrenheit for all you Canadians reading. So yea, it is hot. We have one more week of Mission Adventures left, my wife is officially over due and it is hot. Did I mention that it is hot?

Now I am complaining that it is hot and I am only carrying around my slightly overweight belly. I can't even imaging what my wife must be going through carying around out daughter. We would appreciate your continued prayers as we go through this time.

Anyway, we will get through. This week is our biggest week of the summer. We have 2 youth groups coming through with a total of 46 people. Both groups are going to Costa Rica for their outreach. It will be an exciting week as it is always a different feel when there are more people and I expect that Amy and I will have a new baby girl. Anyway, please pray for us during this next week that our staff would be excited and finishing strong and that God would move in the lives of everyone coming through the program. We are excited about what He has already done so far.

Why God?

Today was a hard day for me. Today should be a day of celebration as it is the due date of our soon to be born little girl, but it turned out to be a day of hurt instead of a day of celebration.

Two things happened today that were very hard and had me asking a lot of questions. 1st, I attended the memorial of Dylan Church, who was Shawn and Kristins son. Shawn is the pastor of Maple Leaf Evangelical Church here in Seattle. Their boy Dylan was due 3 weeks after Amy was due, but a week and a half ago they found out that he had died in the womb. On Friday July 14 Kristin Church delivered her baby boy Dylan who was 6lb 2 oz and just over 19" long. Today, on Amy's due date I attended Dylans memorial service. I asked myself the question why over and over. I also just sat there in sadness for the family of this boy Dylan.

Later on in the day I helped my friend Athena move out of her apartment and into a room in a house in the Central District. Athena and Pat, her husband recently split up after approx. 6 years. The hard thing is that Pat and Athena have two young boy's, Sean and Cian. It was so hard to see the boy's as I know that they are wondering why their mom and dad are not together anymore and why they have to move. I wonder how Athena is going to do with her boy's and with moving. There were once again so many questions.

I trust Jesus, and I know that His heart is grieved. It is hard to see friends go through such hard times. It was weird as today was supposed to be a day of celebration as our daughter was to be born (she is not here yet), but it turned out to be a day of questions and hardship seeing the hurt that my friends were and are going through. I wish I could write better and express the feelings I have, but I wanted to share what I could.

Thanks

Baby ?

Well it is 4 day's till Amy's due date for our second baby. I have to tell you that I am excited and terrified at the same time. Yesterday I spent a portion of the day reading The Birth Partner and started to get a little freaked out. Man, the things that a woman has to go through to birth a baby. Unbelievable. It is crazy to think that this is one of the results of the fall. Wow!

The reason that I got scared is because my life is about to change. I don't know when it is going to change, but it could be before I finish this post. I was praying tonight and I felt like God told me that it is going to be OK. Those words were totally comforting to me. Thank you God. I hope that I can be a good partner to Amy in the hospital. They said in the book that I need to be physically strong to massage her and push on her back and legs. I hope I am strong enough. They also said that there will come a point where my jokes will no longer be funny. Man, I am screwed. Pray for me.

I think it is also hard because my family is so far away from us. I wish that my mom and dad and the rest of my family could be here, or at least closer. It is such an amaizing thing to be apart of and they are missing it. I am greatfull for digital cameras and the internet though. Thank you World Wide Web guy. Anyway, just wanted to post and keep you updated. I will let you know when my little girl comes into the world.

Later.

Baby?

Well it is July 14 and as you can tell from the picture there is no baby yet. Amy and I are expecting our 2nd girl on July 22nd. We are hoping for her to come earlier, but we will see. Most people who I have talked to seem to think that Monday July 17th will be the day. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

I am not sure how I feel about our families new addition. Don't get me wrong, I am totally excited, but a little nervous about starting over again. I feel that we have done a pretty good job with Emma, I hope that we can do it again with our new little girl who we have yet to have a name for. Some questions that I have are How different will she be? Will she be a good sleeper? Will she cry lot's? Will Emma like her?

There is also the thought of giving total care to another person. She will be totally dependent on us for a long time. She can't communicate, can't walk or crawl and can't just go to the fridge to get her old man a beer. Man, what will I do? The thing that I know is that as soon as she is born all of these things will pass away, well except for the beer thing (just kidding). When I see my little girls face for the 1st time it will be over. Just joy and love and excitement.

There is also the thought of the hospital and labor. Oh man, talk about a time to be totally selfless and not say anything stupid to your wife like does it hurt? Owe, stop squeezing my hand so hard, you have no idea how much that hurts. Yes, I do need your prayers for that, as does my wife.

For those of you reading this who have 2 kid's any advice would be appreciated. For those of you who have 1 or none your prayers are appreciated. Thanks and I will keep you posted. By the way, for those of you wondering. Yes, the pictures were taken at the Apple Store with the Mac Book Pro.

Later

Mr. T

I am sitting here at my kitchen table drinking good Thailand Peaberry coffee and reading about Mr. T. Yep, you read right, Mr. T. I am attaching an article from Yahoo News about how Mr. T went to visit the destruction of Hurricane Katrina and decided, based on the disaster of it that he would hang up his gold. Wow on many levels. One is that I was reading Yahoo News. It was a link from Relevant Magazine so I don't feel that bad. Wow also that Mr. T is going non-gold.

I met Mr. T in LA in 95. I was helping the Fred Jordan Mission down at Skid Row serve their anual Thanksgiving dinner and T was hanging around greeting everyone. Man, what a cool experience that was for me an old A-Team fan. Anyway, good for Mr. T for taking a stand. I hope it lasts. Here is the article.

Fri Jul 14, 9:01 AM ET

Mr. T has given himself a makeover. The former television action star shed the piles of gold chains that were his signature look after witnessing the destruction from Hurricane Katrina.

"As a spiritual man, I felt it would be a sin against my God for me to wear all that gold again because I spent a lot of time with the less fortunate," the actor said Thursday at the Television Critics Association's summer meeting.

"I saw some, I call it `sorry celebrities.' They'll go down there and hook up with the people to take a photo-op. I said, `How disgusting.' If you're not going to go down there with a check and a hammer and a nail to help the people, don't go down there."

Mr. T, whose real name is Lawrence Tero, stars in "I Pity the Fool" debuting in October on TV Land. He dispenses advice to viewers who are struggling with life's problems.

The former star of "The A-Team" said he's about more than his rough-and-tough image.

"Yes, I am qualified to beat people up. But I am pretty intelligent," he said. "That's what throws people off. If you've been through something, that gives you an authority that you can speak on certain things. That's why people relate to me. I pull no punches."

Old Fashioned

Sometimes I wonder if I have an old fashioned view of Jesus and Christianity. I mean, I was sitting in our Mission Adventures Staff meeting tonight and it was just depressing. it is like people are looking at themselves and their problems and not to Jesus. I am not diminishing anyones problems and saying that they are not real, I am just saying that I feel that people that I come into contact with lately who are so called postmodern or whatever you want to call it just depress me.

I am not trying to pull a blanket over everyone, I am just frustrated. Is Jesus enough? I think so. In that though, I feel that some people feel that the answer is more than Jesus. I hear people say the answer is Jesus and feeding someone. Or Jesus and bringing justice. I feel that Jesus is the only answer, but that through Jesus and our love and commitment to Him we will be bringers of Justice and of those other things.

I may be saying the same thing as my friends who I get frustrated with, but I feel that there is a uprising of pessimistic, depressing Christ Followers that make me just want to scream. Am I old fashioned in that I want to get excited about Jesus instead of sitting there all inward focused and deconstructing everything that I have ever been taught about faith, Jesus and mission? I hope not, and I don't think so. Am I just making things to simple by thinking that Jesus is God and cares about us and wants to work in us so that we can be a part of reaching the world for Him.

It is late and I am tired. I also wish I were better at putting things into words. Maybe later when it is not so late.

Good Night.

Father Daughter Day

Today I spend the day getting the baby room ready for the up and coming child and chillin with my baby girl Emma. It was totally cool. We had breakfast together with mommy at 10 after sleeping in. After breakfast we just puttered around the house and moved stuff out of the spare bedroom as we are turning it into a baby room. We cleared out our garage that is usually used to store Mission Adventures stuff and made room in there for an office so that I can work more from home and play Nintendo 64 without interruption.

After lunch Amy went to our friends baby shower and Emma and I went for a bike Ride. We rode our bikes down the street to the pet daycare and hung out with some dogs. Emma got to give one of them a treat and pet another one. She was all giggles about the whole thing.

After the doggy daycare, which I personally think is over the top, we proceeded to QFC to snack on some free samples. It was a good day as they had muffins, cookies, coffee and salmon. We sat on the sidewalk for a while beside our bikes and talked and snacked.

After that we rode down to the park and played an adventure game in the bushes. There were a lot of thorns there so we didn't stay for to long. Then we headed home and made some ice cream cones and waited for mommy.

You know I wonder if God ever has these kind of day's with me? The kind of day where we just hang out and he is excited to be with me. A day where at the end of it He wants to tell people about His time with his kid Phil. Wouldn't that be cool? In face, I think that it happens. I really think that God loves to just spend the day with us. He loves to walk with us, talk with us and enjoy company. It seems as though God and Adam had this kind of relationship. God made him and talked with him and I am sure they just walked together and hung out. He showed Adam all that he made and gave him instructions. I know that He must have walked and hung out with Him as it say's in Gen. 3:8 that Adam and Eve heard God walking in the Garden in the cool of the day so they hid.

It is so sad that out relationship with God was broken. What must it have been like? I want to hang out with God more. I want to walk with Him and talk with Him more. I want to blog about my cool day with God.

Today

What can I say? Today has been a hard, long, draining day. I have been lied to, accused in the wrong, deceived, and mislead. What a way to start out a blog. I am tired. I have been in meetings all afternoon and some of this evening dealing with issues involving some people I work with. The hard thing is that I trusted these people and was let down. There has been forgiveness and grace given, but I am hurt. I have released forgiveness, but I am angry and magerly let down. What can I do? What should I do?

I think that the reason I am hurt so much is because I released so much trust and energy only to be mocked. I guess that is what happens when you invest your time in people, sometimes you get hurt. It happened to Jesus, I mean they put him on a cross after he healed them and showed them the Father. Why should I be surprised that it would happen to me. It still hurts.

Thanks for listening to me.

Later.

Phil

Canada Day

Today is Canada day, so in honor of my fine country I am sitting down and enjoying a Labatt's and wanted to give you a brief history of how Canada came to be from Winkipedia

Canada Day celebrates the creation of the dominion of Canada through the British North America Act on July 1, 1867, uniting three British territories — the Province of Canada (southern Ontario and southern Quebec), Nova Scotia, and New Brunswick into a federation.

A proclamation was issued by Governor General Lord Monk, on June 20, 1868, asking for "all Her Majesty's loving subjects throughout Canada to join in the celebration of the anniversary of the formation of the union of the British North America provinces in a federation under the name of Canada on July 1."[1]
The holiday was formally established by statute in 1879, and was originally called Dominion Day, making reference to the term "dominion," which was first used to describe a political union within the British Empire for Canada, at a time when the British government was hesitant to adopt the name proposed by the Fathers of Confederation: Kingdom of Canada.
The name was changed to Canada Day on 27 October 1982, largely harking back to the adoption of the earlier Canada Act 1982.
On Dominion Day 1923, the Chinese Immigration Act of 1923 went into effect. Until the act was repealed in 1947, many Chinese-Canadians referred to July 1 as "Humiliation Day" and refused to celebrate Canada's birthday.
Quebec also has Moving Day on 1 July, due to the fact that most leases there begin and end on that day, with many people changing residences. Federalist Quebec residents who oppose the popular sovereigntist campaign for an independent Québec joke that Moving Day is scheduled to ensure Quebecers are too busy moving house to celebrate Canada Day.

Mission Adventures

So tomorrow we start our 8th year of Mission Adventures. WOW, how am I still going? I am excited about it this year as my role is minimal as I am preparing for fatherhood once again and feel as though someone else should run the day to day. This week however is our 1st week and I am speaking. I am sure it will be busy, but I am surprisingly looking forward to it with much anticipation.
Tonight I was telling Amy that I am excited about the opportunity to set the tone for the summer through speaking on my own program. I feel as though I will be able to express myself more then just through hosting it and I will be able to get away with more. I am not sure what that means except I feel that I can take more risks this year. I will let you know how it goes.
Until then, keep me and us in your prayers.
Later

24

I am not sure how to say this subtly, so I will just say it, I stay awake at night thinking about Kiefer Sutherland. Don't freak our ot think I am to wierd because many people think about him often. I am talking of course about his role in 24. WOW! If there was ever a time in my life that I needed to go to bed early it is now, but instead my wife and I usually find ourselves starting to watch 24 on the lap top at around 11pm. Even now, it is 10:35 pm, and I am tired like a crazy tired person, but I can't go to sleep until I find out what happens to Jack in the next episode. If you have not let yourself become addicted to 24 I would encourage you to take the plunge. It is well worth it.

Anyway, I needed to come out of the closet on this one. I hope you day is filled with joy and your night is filled with Kiefer. Thanks.

Britney Spears

I was just watching a show where Briney Spears was on Dateline. I just wanted to quote her as she said some Brilliant things. Here they are

1. "I like working with funny people. I find funny people Hilarious."

2. "I like money."

So sad is all I can say. It is so sad.

Who am I?

Lately I have been thinking a lot about who I am. It has been an interesting journey. I have talked to a few people about this who I am close to and it has turned into something that I am thinking about and aware of on a daily basis. Now you may be wondering why I would be constantly thinking about who I am, but it is because I feel that somewhere along the way I lost myself, or I gave myself away.

I have been realizing that when I get into a relationship, romantic (which is my wife) or platonic (everyone else), I often find myself doing things, or becoming something that I feel that the other person would like me to be. By this I mean pretending that I am interested in things that they are interested in so that they won't be hurt. Having my coffee black if they have theirs black so that they won't have to feel bad about not having cream Wanting to read something that they are interested in when I am not interested one bit just to belong. Now these things sound good in themselves, but my reasoning in all of this and many more situations is not healthy. It is not so that I can enter into another persons world, it is because I don't feel that mine is worthy of them entering into.

Wow, I just read that above paragraph and even I am confused. I am just using this post to throw up all over and then sort out the chunks. Hopefully someone out there reading this (the 3 of you) can relate. I have found that I have given the beauty of me away because in a lot of way's I find no beauty. I read the verses that say that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, but I rarely live that out. I am at a point of being sick of it. Sick of not living out me and the person God created me to be. In my journey to find out who I am I have some fear and reservation. What if I don't like who I am, or what if I am not really nice, but just pretending to be nice so that I don't hurt anyone's feelings?

But, what if I am a strong, secure, honest leader and servant. Someone who God wants to use to bring others closer into relationship with Him. What if I am exactly who God intended me to be, wouldn't that suck if I never found out. I am on a journey. I am going through a metamorphosis. I want, desire and need change. I am sick of robbing people, and me of me. If you are reading this please pray for me and with me. It is exciting, but scary all the same.

Thanks.

Cambodia Adventure

I am sitting in the Singapore airport/mall on my way home from Cambodia posting for the 2nd time today as the last time it was erased as blogger went down as I was publishing. Good ol blogger. Good thing I am coming home from a mission trip as my heart is good and I didn't cuss blogger to much.

Just a short post as this keyboard stinks and my connection to Seattle via Hong Kong and San Fran leaves shortly. I just want to say that in my history of mission trips
this one was one of the best. I will post later on the details and what God did, but
for now I just want to thank some key people.

Lars and Wade, thank you for your hearts and commitments to the team and to outreach. You made this trip so much easier. I would do a trip with you again any time.

Jonah, Chris and Bethany thank you for hosting us. You made us feel involved in your ministry and your lives. Congrats on the engagement Chris.

Manny and the team thank you for being great. Thank you for working hard, caring for each other and Cambodia. Thank you for taking it sereously. Thanks also for making us part of your team. I hope to do it again.

Thank you Cambodia. Thank you for your smiles and love. Thank you also for your acceptance.

Thank you Jesus mostly. Thanks for being truth and for keeping us safe and giving us this opportunity.

Thank you to all of you who prayed. It was beautiful

Cambodia

On Monday May 9 I am once again leaving my city, family and community and flying to Cambodia. I will be leading a group of 29 college age students from Oakland, CA. On a prayer/ministry trip for 10 day's. I am very excited about this trip. We will be spending some time in Angkor Wat, Phnom Penh, and Sianookville. While there we will be spending time in intercession at Angkor Wat and also at The Killing Fields. My good friend P. Wade put together some pod-casts for our intercession times.

We will also be going to a coastal town called Sianookville. While there we will be working with an orphanage a hospital and running some kid's ministries. I am also excited to go back to the church that we worked with last year and see the pastor and the Sunday school program that run's in the room we built.

We are also going to be going to a village 2 hours away from Sianookville called Crocodile Village. Here is what Jonah, our host says about the village. "As for this village I would like to tell you that, this village has been established by former Khmer Rough soldiers, which is very much unexplored by the general mass, even Cambodia. God gave me the favor to bring the gospel to this village. There's a school in the village, and I will talk with the leaders if 3 days program for the kids and the villagers (One day mercy ministry including medical service, kids camp and setting up a mini park for the kids, and personal evangelism. The team can also organize a concert with dances and drama)"

I am also excited about my team. I am leading this with my good friend
P. Wade who works for YWAM in Vancouver and also makes great soap, plays in a Epiphanic, DJ's, VJ's and rodied for Nickleback, who I won't link you to because they are not worth your time.

My good friend Lars Rood from San Diego is also coming. Lars and I have worked together a number of times, but this is the first time we have been over seas hanging out. I am also pretty sure that Lars is going to be snacking on some dog with me.

So, Please pray for us as we embark on this journey together. I am sure there will be pictures and posts to come. Thanks for reading and for putting up with all my links. If you do want the Nickleback link just ask.

Later

Cinderella

Holy Smokes, My daughter Emma is as cute as they come. Why you ask? Well, tonight when it was time for bed we were talking, well she was talking. I told her that I was going to Cambodia in a couple of day's. She asked if that was why I had the bag of crafts by the door and I said yes. Then she said that she needed some of the glitter that I was bringing because she doesn't have enough. When I told her no she launched into a 15 minute monologue. Here is the cliff notes of it.

Emma told me that while I was gone to Cambodia she was going to move into a castle with Prince Charming and she was going to become a princess. She then told me that she was never going to see me again, because she would be in the castle. I asked her if there was a way we could see each other and then she said yes because I was going to be the king and Amy was going to be the queen. We were all going to live in the castle and she was going to sleep with prince charming. But, prince charming was going to get mad at Emma's fairy god mother and so Emma was going to have to tell him that it is not good to be mad at fairy god mother. She also informed me that princesses don't eat or drink. Especially pickles or chips, which are Emmas favorites. All that princesses do is wash and comb their hair. They also ride on their princess ponies.

Suddenly she launched into the story of Shreck. She told me that she was going to get swept up by a bad guy in the forrest and then she was going to take him out. Then, Shreck was going to get an arrow in his butt and she was going to pull it out while donkey went to get flowers. Then it was time for bed.

Wow, what a story teller. It was the cuteness that I needed. Thank you Jesus for my little girl.

Happy Mothers Day

On this May 14th Mothers day I want to take a moment to thank my mom Ann. She has been my mom for as long as I can remember, which is birth. This goes out to you mom.
Mom, thank you for loving me. Thank you for caring for me and raising me. Without you, well I would have died I guess. We have had some good times and some rough times. Do you remember the time you were out of town for a week and Brendan and I stayed home and totally destroyed the house by not washing dishes, having people over, not cleaning and just leaving a mess? The house never looked so bad. I remember coming home the day before you were supposed to come home and seeing a note from you and dad saying that you were home and went for coffee and when you returned the house better be clean. I thought it was a joke from Julie until you called. I remember Brendan and I calling Melanie Collins to come over and clean with us. You were mad.
I also remember the same summer when you came in and saw Brendan wearing a vest. You commented that it looked just like the pant suite that you had and loved so much. I am not sure what our faces looked like when we realized we cut up your nice pant suit jacket and made a vest out of it, but I am sure it was shocking.
I also remember the time Jeff slept over and you threw out his contact lenses cause you thought it was just a glass of water by the sink. He was blind for day's. Just kidding.
We have had some great times and also some hard times. I know that it has not been easy since dad left. In fact it has been the hardest time in our family's lives. There are a few times over the last 3 years that I remember connecting with you. I remember going for coffee with you at Second Cup on Corydon and talking about dad. It was very sad, but we connected and it meant a lot to me. I also remember when I was in Fiji and so worried about you and how you were doing as I could not call. I remember when I did call it was like I was your little boy. You did not talk about yourself once, you just cared for me and asked how I was, even through your hurt. Thank you for that.
Thank you for sticking with it. For being a good Mom and Nana. Thank you for moving on and working at the church and thrift store. Thank you for sticking with God and remaining faithful. I know that God will work this out for good. I love you and pray for you continually.
Happy Mothers Day.

The Stranger on Emerging Churches

The Stranger is a city paper in Seattle that puts out weekly articles, classifieds, movie listings and concert info. It is a free publication. In the May 4th edition there was an article written on Emerging Churches in Seattle. It was a very interesting view of a couple of Churches in the city, one of which is Mars Hill, which I personally attend. I am putting the link here if you would like a read.

Emerging Church

King of the Hill on Church

I was checking out Mark Driscoll's blog this afternoon and came across this clip that was shown on King of the Hill about church. I hope you find it as humorous as I did. Have a great Sunday.

Taking Steps Into The Future

I just recently returned from a 10 day outreach to Thailand. It was a great time for me, yet a very different experience than I am used to. There were two things that were different.
1. I am used to taking a group of Jr. High or High Schoolers, but this time I went with a groups of adults, the youngest being 22 and the oldest being in his mid 70's.
2. Usually the groups that we take on trips contact us and have set leaders and an existing group dynamic. This time, I contacted individuals who had no specific connection and asked them if they wanted to do a trip with me.

I have been in YWAM for 12 years now and have been working inside of a mold that was already in existence when I joined. I never started anything new, out side of helping to pioneer YWAM Seattle. But as far as programatic things that I have been involved in, they have already been running. I feel that God is changing this for me and also for those around me. I feel that God is calling us to step into something new, to pioneer new programs and new way's of doing things. Basically to step out.

I truly believe that this is one of the significant ways that we can bring change to the world. The reason that we have all these great existing programs, ideal, and organizations is because someone stepped out in faith and passion, and started something new that has never been before. We can either continue to work inside those existing structures or step out in faith like those before us and start new programs, ideas or organizations that will bring change.
I think for me, the reason that I have not done this before is out of fear. Fear that I will not know what I am doing. Fear of failure. Fear that no one will follow me. There is no risk in working inside an existing structure and trying to restructure it, but to start a totally different thing is a little different. I feel like this changed for me when I saw the success of the Thailand trip.

I saw that there are many adults who are good people, hard workers and Christ followers who have never had the opportunity to go on a Mission Trip and see change. People that are missional in their own culture, but have never had the chance to go and be missional in a foreign culture. The more I saw this the more I wanted to see that change. It was a risk for me to plan this trip, but a risk I was willing to take and a risk that payed off for those who went and those we went to see.

I feel that this is going to open up more doors to do similar things in the future. I also feel that this is going to push me to step out and start things that are not existing programs and hopefully bring change. I don't want fear or apathy to stop me from following God's plan for me. I also don't want to miss God's plan or have Him use someone else to see it get accomplished because I am to fearful to take up the call. I am excited about where this will take me.

Blogging

One of the web sites I like to brows through each day is Relevant On-Line. There is lots of great worthless entertainment info, as well as some interesting articles like the one I read today on Blogging by Andrew Odem. I really enjoy blogging, but I could see how it could be used for Evil instead of good. Anyway, I am on the way to Canada to pick up my beautiful wife and daughter so I am putting the link here for you to enjoy. Later.
The Blogging Church.

Welcome Home

Well, even thought it was great to be in Thailand, it is wonderful to be back home in the beautiful North West. My time in Thailand was great. I just want to take a few minutes to thank those of you who made it so wonderful.

I just wanted to write a quick note to let you know that I arrived home safely from Thailand on Sunday. It is good to be home, but it was great to be in Thailand. Permit me to take this time to thank some people who played a part in my life while I was gone.

Thank you to my team.
Mario: You did great. Thanks for bringing so many with you and being committed to Mission
Anthony: Thanks for letting the kids crawl all over you 24/7
Sonia: Thanks for putting up with all us boys, it was good to have you
Paul: You were hard core bro. You are in your 70's yet you were with us all the way
Matt: Thanks so much for committing to coming and making it happen. You came a long way and lost your bag and remained cool.
Damien: Thanks for being committed to Mission and working so hard
Rusty: Thanks for hosting us, you ,made it so much better for all of us.
Brad: Thank you for coming in the midst of difficulty. I pray that God changed your life forever
Dog: Thank you for a good meal. You tasted great.


Thank you guy's for being so flexible. For sleeping on the floor, for putting up with a million bug bites (Mario), for putting up with 7 men who sometimes act like boy's (Sonia), for coming all the way from Canada (Matt), for trying new and exciting foods (dog), for hosting us (Rusty) and for loving and serving the Akha people will all your hearts.

Thank you to Dave Stone who is helping with out computer. Thank you to Stephen and Boon Soon and Joe for offering to help. Thank you to my dear wife Amy and my daughter Emma for being alright with me going and supporting me. Thank you all of you who prayed for us during this trip and who continually support us as a family financially so that we can continue doing the Lords work that He has called us to.

Finally and most of all thank you Jesus. Thank you for calling us to you and sending us out. Thank you that the call of Christ is worth our lives. Thank you for your truth, your love and your grace. I love you.

Have a great week.

Gone to Thailand

Hello everyone reading this. This will just be a short blog, but I wanted to post. I am leaving for Thailand tonight for a 10 day trip. I am going with 6 men and one lady to build a church in a Northern Thailand Hill Tribe. I am so excited about what the Lord is going to do in me and the team that I am leading there. I won't be posting for the next 10 day's, but I am sure that I will have a lot to say when I return. Please keep us in your prayers.
The team is:
Mario
Anthony
Damien
Matt
Brad
Sonia
Paul

One more thing before I sign off. Yesterday the hard drive on my i-book crashed. It is our main computer so we really need it fixed. We need to pay $300 to get it fixed. If you would like to help with this need just post a comment below. I can let you know how you can be involved. Thanks so much for taking time to read.

Later.

He has risen. He has risen indeed.

Christ the Lord is risen today, Alleluia!
Earth and heaven in chorus say, Alleluia!
Raise your joys and triumphs high, Alleluia!
Sing, ye heavens, and earth reply, Alleluia! Charles Wesley, 1707-1788

Today we celebrate the end of Lent and the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I pray that we can have the joy of the risen Lord in our thoughts and minds today. This is why we live. This is why we pray. This is why we love. Jesus conquered death and the grave and rose victoriously so we could have life in Him.

Please take time today to thank Him. Take time today to celebrate Him. I pray that today you can be surrounded by people who can share and celebrate this resurrection day with you. I pray that if there is someone today who has no one that you would invite them to spend their day with you. I pray that we would have the joy of the Lord together.

Jesus, thank you for your life. Thank you for saving us. Lord, you are everything. May your will continually be accomplished in out lives. May those who don't know you find you today.

-AMEN-

What ever happened to Good Friday?

What ever happened to Good Friday? The last day has been a shock to my system as I have begun to realize that Good Friday means nothing anymore. Yesterday I was rushing to get my taxes done so that I could drop it in the mail before Friday because the post office would be closed, or so I thought. As I rushed to the post office I realized that I had missed the last pick up and then I noticed that on the door was listed the dates that the Post Office would be closed. To my surprise Good Friday was not listed.
Later I was talking to my friend Gordon. I asked him what he was doing for Good Friday and he told me that he had to go to work. Wired, why would his work be open on Good Friday? I guess I hadn't realized how far we have come in our society away from celebrating Christian Holy Days. I am totally disappointed at how far from the cross we have gone. It is like the cross never happened.
I remember as a kid in Canada going to church on Good Friday morning for an all church breakfast followed by the Good Friday service. I loved it as I got to eat with all my friends and raise havoc in the church by playing the biggest game of hide and seek that any Friday morning has ever experienced. Now, even though I didn't sit quietly through the service on Good Friday morning I distinctly knew that the reason we were there was because we were celebrating Christs death on the cross nearly 2000 years earlier.
Jephta, my German friend commented today that America doesn't see Good Friday and anything special. This is such a sad thing in my eyes. This is the day that we were freed. This is the day that the greatest sacrifice in history was made. Nearly 2000 years ago Jesus hung on the cross as a man to save us from our sins. The greatest act of selflessness that anyone has ever, or will ever make. How can we not celebrate the man who gave us our freedom? How can we not just stop our everyday lives to spend the day with Him?
Now I am not talking about my friend Gordon who has to go to work, or the server at Denny's who has to serve Moons Over My Hammy, but I am just talking about society in general. We are lost and missing the point. This is extremely grave.

Schedule

Yo yo all. Phil here with my little blog getting ready to post my schedule for the internship. So, buckle up and hold on cause here we go.

Currently I am spending most of my time running Mission Adventures, but I am transitioning out of this program that I have given the last 10 years of my life to. This has been an interesting time as I have been forced to figure out what I want to do after this summer, when Mission Adventures for me will come to a close. Here is a little bit of that story.

At the end of summer 2004 I became tired and lacked any sort of motivation for running the Mission Adventures program with Seattle. This was really all I have known in my time with YWAM, so I felt that my time in Seattle was through. The thing that I felt myself being drawn to was the Church. I felt that my time with YWAM was done and my time with the Church was starting. I called up my good friend Lars Rood and filled out a resume to work with the Jr. High ministry at his Church. The more I pursued it the more I felt wrong about it, but I did not know what else to do. After talking to my good friend Rusty I came to the realization that I could stay in Seattle with YWAM and do Church here. I realize this is a sketchy, brief overview of a huge transition in my life so if you want more details just ask.

So this brings me to now. My passions are to provide a place of worship for people who have not yet connected with a local church or community. I want to spend time developing that. So, while I am not working on Mission Adventures I will be, and am, reading blogs on church, listening to pod-casts on church, reading books, taking classes from a Bible College to finish my degree and running a by weekly Gathering that looks a lot like a church.

I am also heavily involved with my family. I really love them and they are very cute. I want to invest in my daughter and her growing up. I also want to be involved with Amy and the baby that is due in July. Very cool. The other thing that I want to do is take care of my body. I have started running and would like to do that 3 times a week or so. I also love playing dodge ball and blogging.

This is my rant. Enjoy.

Processing My Future

This week in the YWAM Seattle Urban Internship we were talking about Personal Growth, Vision Statements and Values. Most of the material we covered came out of a pod cast by Patrick Dodson. Most of the week was spent telling each other our stories of where we came from and what God has done in out lives.
On Thursday night we talked a lot about issues of divorce and homosexuality. It was interesting to here how people perceived the churches views on those two issues. Some of the comments were about how the church knows how to talk to people, or deal with people who steal or cheat, but when it comes to homosexuality or divorce we are kind of at a loss and don't' really deal with it very well. I wonder why that is? I think because most of us view those two issues as greater, more horrible sins than all other sins. These are sins that we would never commit, that no one should ever commit. How can we disciple people in these areas if we feel that we are above them.
Another thing we talked about is who we are. Patrick, in his pod cast called Processing Your Future talks about who we are in three areas.
Who we are in God
Who we are in Family
Who we are in Ourselves.

This is what I came up with, even thought there is a lot more time that I need to put into it.

Who I am in God is:
Faith, Forgiven, Son, Secure

Who I am in Family:
Brother, Son, Friend, Dad, Giver of Perspective, Dier to self, Provider, protector

Who I am in Myself:
Friend, Pastor, Empathetic, Learner, compromiser (in a way that I want all ideas heard, not just mine), No Compromiser.

I would encourage you to listen to the pod cast, it is great.

Energent

Today I was reading on The A-Team Blog about the The Emerging Church. There is a lot of talk about the Emerging Church movement and also a lot of questions. Roger Overton posted a good article on this and linked to an article that Mark Driscoll, the pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle wrote. Mark Driscoll was one of the original members of the Emerging Church movement, but left after a while because of theological differences he had with it. Here is the article that Mark wrote on the Emerging church that explains it pretty clearly for those of us who are interested. Enjoy.

How Emergent came about

Busy and Tired

I am tired. I feel like I am sitting in heavy traffic and just can't wait to get home. You know that feeling where you just feel rushed and want to be in a quiet place with no thoughts or stress? I kinda feel like that. It has been a busy week here in my world. I have enjoyed it in that there is growth happening in my life and in the lives of the people I work with, but it is still crazy. Today I received an email from a youth pastor wanting to bring her youth to an outreach that we are running this summer in the Gulf Coast. I just wanted to scream NOOOOOO, no more work. But, the work is good. God is blessing us. He is giving us favor and responsibility. I am tired, but I want the Lord to continue to do His work in me. I don't want to stop, yet I really want to stop.

Jesus, I love you. Thank you for the favor you are giving me and the YWAMers I work with. I am excited about what is going on. Please give me strength to hold on and stay invested. I need your help. It is exciting, but it is hard.
-AMEN-

Daylight Savings Time

I remember as a kid finding out that on the 1st Sunday of April I would loose an hour of sleep due to daylight savings time. They always made it so nice sounding though by calling it "Spring Forward." Like I was going to wake up to the sounds of birds chirping and green grass and Bar B Q's. Well, I grew up in Winnipeg Canada so usually on this beautiful "Spring Forward" day I would wake up to snow, negative 25 degrees and birds frozen to the telephone lines. And on top of that I would have to get up one hour early and rush to get to church on time, all the while wishing that on this day of the year I lived in Saskatchewan where they never changed their clocks.
There was also the other problem of "do I switch my clock before I go to bed or when I wake up. I always switched it before I went to be for "Spring Forward" and when I woke up for "Fall Back." I try to make the most of these two wired days.
So this year I decided to not let "daylight savings" kick my butt. I decided to set my clock forward before I went to bed and sleep until I could sleep no more. Fortunately the church I attend has a 12:30 pm service so I could skip the 10:30 am, 9:30 with "daylight savings" and still make it to church.
To be honest, this was the best "Spring Forward" day I have ever had. I woke up late, make some Cafe Roma coffee, wrote a blog, nuked some pancakes and still have 20 minutes before I leave for church. Maybe "Spring Forward" is not as bad as I thought when I was a kid.

Invisible Children

I just spent the last hour watching a movie/documentary called Invisible Children. It is a story that 3 guys documented in the spring of 2003. These guys went to Northern Uganda and dicovered a story where children are the weapons and the victoms of a 20 year-long movement called the Lords Resistance Army (LRA). The movie exposes the effects of the war on the children of Northern Uganda. The children there live in fear of abduction by rebel soldiers, and are being forced to fight as part of a violent army.
Thousands of these children travel by foot each night from their homes to the near by towns to sleep in public places like hospitals so that they will not be abducted by the LRA. The movie made me wonder why I was born in a country of freedom and not a country where I have to fear for my life. It also left me wondering what my response should be. I want to encourage you who are reading this post to check out the web site, get and watch the movie, and figure out what your response should be. With knowledge comes responsibility and we can't ignore injustice forever.
If you are a pastor or youth worker I would encourage you to get this and watch it with your youth. On Sunday the 8th a group of us we will be watching it with The Gathering and I hope that people are moved to act. Once again, thanks for taking time to read, I pray that your life, as I pray mine, is changed.

Protection

On Saturday Amy and I went to see Serena Maneesh. Serena-Maneesh is a Norweigan band whos music sounds like a "pop symphony of dragged out psychotic rock n roll" or as I like to call it, "Melodic Distortion." Why am I blogging about this, well here goes. I got on the guest list to see the band from my friend Ben Sand, who is the manager. I was sitting at home with Amy on Saturday afternoon figuring out who I would bring to the show. "Maybe I could ask Ben, or Bubba. I think that they would love that." The I looked at Amy and she asked me why I don't just ask her. So, have you ever just felt like poo? This was my I feel like poo moment of the day.

The reason that I didn't ask Amy was that I didn't think she would want to go. She doesn't like their music, she doesn't like going to shows, or clubs and I knew that it was going to be totally loud. What I didn't think about was the fact that maybe Amy would just want to spend some time with me. Don't worry, I am going somewhere with this.

I loved going to the show, because I felt in my element. I love the loudness of it, the busyness of it and the whole atmosphere. What was totally cool though was that I realized that I loved my wife way more. I felt myself protecting her. I usually would go straight to the stage, but I knew that Amy would want to sit down and the chairs were in the back. So I gladly stood in front of her protecting our little baby in her tummy from the loudness of the show.

There came a point in the show where I was thinking more about Amy than the music, so I asked her to come upstairs with me and we hung out in the lounge away from the stage where it was quieter. It was great just to sit there and enjoy my wife and the music.

This night was very significant for me as it showed me about myself and Amy. It showed me that I realy love my wife and want to do things to protect her, even without her asking. It also showed something about Amy in that she was willing to do something with me that she normally does not enjoy because she loves me. I love that and obviously thought you would to.

Bono: The Prayer Breakfast

"Stop asking God to bless what you are doing and get involved in what God is doing as it is already blessed." This is one of the things that Bono said during his address at the Washington DC prayer breakfast on Feb. 16, 2006. Bono gave a 20 minute challenge along with some personal testimonies of his life to the attendants at the breakfast. To me it was beautiful to hear what he said about religion and God. He also challenged the US government to give more to Africa. He talked about the difference between mercy and justice. He challenged us to be about Justice, to get off our donkeys and fight for justice. I have attached the link here so if you have 20 minutes or so it is a good listen.
Bono: Prayer Breakfast

The overflow of who we are.

I was talking to my friend today about ministry and the idea that who we are when we are not around people has direct affect on the ministry that we are running. What do I mean by this? I believe that if we are leading some kind of ministry, but our lives are not lived with integrity that the ministry we are running will not reach the highest place that God intends for it. I am not sure how this works, or if I am correct in my thinking, but I feel convinced of it.
If we are leading a group of people into what God has for them, but we are not living out the life that God has for us, how can we even lead? How does it look to not live out the life that God has for us? Well it is living in pride or perversion, or gossip or gluttony, or laziness, etc. Can we truly believe that we can bring people to a place that we are not at ourselves? There is no way.
Now I am not talking about seasonal purity, I am talking about a life of purity and holiness. If we just purify ourselves because we are running a ministy, what happens when that ministry ends? We go back to our sin, and we probably go back to it even worse than before. This is a scary thing. I am involved in ministry full time, it scares me that my life has a direct affect on the people that I am leading, even if they don't see my life. I guess that is another thing, how can we expect growth, authenticity and transparency if we are hiding ourselves?
Now if you are reading this and thinking that I am messed up, you are correct. I am messed up and odds are that you are too. What we need to do as leaders is to live lives of purity, holiness, faith and love. We need to be transparent and live out our lives in full view of the people around us. We need accountability, community and friends if we are to make it as leaders. We cannot hide our secret lives anymore, we need to bring them out into the open and kill them.
Thanks for listening to me go on, your comments are more than welcomed.

Metal: A Headbangers Journey

Tonight I experienced something that is hard to put into words. It was a youthful dream come true, yet it was also an amazing revelation. I went to see Metal: A Headbangers Journey. This documentary on the history of metal on the outside seemed to be something that only a true Motley Crue fan would enjoy, but I went with my friend Bubba, who is anything but a true Motley Crue fan and he loved it as much as me.

It is directed by Sam Dunn who is a 30 year old anthropologist and a lifelong metal fan. Sam has spet much of his life studying diverse cultures, but in this movie he turns his camera to the culture of Heavy Metal Music. The movie is about his goal to find out why metal is consistently stereotyped, dismissed and condemned and yet still holds true. It is one of the best documentaries that I have ever seen on culture and a cultural phenomenon. It covers the origin of the name Heavy Metal to Ronnie James Dio marketing the metal sign. The movie talks about original metal (Sabbath), heavy metal (Maiden), glam metal (Poison), death metal (Slayer) and beyond.

The movie is revealing in parts, funny in parts and very disturbing in parts. It is a great look at a culture that we are around every day. It talks about why people do the things they do. It talks about why people hate their families, and it deals with hatred towards the church of Jesus Christ. It is not for the faint at heard, or for those easily offended by language, but I highly recommend this movie if you are interested in culture, people, music, history, religion, politics and making movies.

Check it out as it is only showing in select cities. Enjoy.

Worship

I am taking a class on the Foundations of Biblical Worship. I have just started and my first assignmen was to write a 250 word essay on what I think worship is. I wrote what came to mind and thought I would post it here. Enjoy.

I believe that true Biblical worship is to do everything we do, in all areas of our lives to the glory of God. Worship is an expression of who we are, glorifying who God is. It is recognizing that without God we are nothing and we would have nothing if it were not for Jesus.
We worship when we are in a church service by singing, raising our hands or speaking out our love and adoration of Jesus. We worship when we are training for a sporting event, either running, biking or swimming. We worship when we are studying for school. We worship when we are working a job, painting a picture, making a video or writing a book. I believe that when we live out our daily lives to the glory of God we are participating in acts of worship to Him.
I believe that to worship God is a choice that we make, but will also happen regardless of if we chose to worship God or not. In John 4:24 Jesus says to the women of Samaria “God is spirit, and His worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth." We worship God when we live out our lives for him. If we are living out our lives contrary to what God asks it is not worshipful to Him.
I also believe that if we don’t worship God that He will be worshiped regardless. In Luke 19:40 Jesus says, “If they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” I believe that God will be worshiped regardless of if we worship him or not, but He has called us to a life of worship and worship Him I will do.

photos by Nathan Golden

St. Patrick

Yesterday was St. Patricks day. At my house and many other houses around the country, I am sure, we had some friends over for the occasion. I made Irish potato Bread, some fish and chips, shepherds pie and of course Guinness because "it is good for you." My friends and I had a great time, but the reason we celebrate this day is not so that we can eat and drink good beer, it is because of who this day is named. Below is a little about St. Patrick. I hope that his life not only helps you see St. Patricks day differently, but also helps you see your life differently and inspires you to greater things.

St. Patrick- great saint of Ireland.

Discipline your body.

It has been a while since my last post, I guess I have just gotten lazy.
I have recently started running. By recently I mean that I have run twice in the last two days. There is this half marathon going on in Seattle this summer and for some crazy reason I feel like competing. As I was running this morning I wanted so badly to quit and just walk the rest of the way. The think that drove me was this little voice in my head telling me to discipline your body and your mind. I kept repeating this to myself over and over and it gave me the strength to finish strong.
This summer we are running our Mission Adventures program at YWAM Seattle. The theme is DETOX: mind, body, soul, spirit. I really want to go through a process of detoxification if I am going to call young people to do the same. I feel like it can't just be a detoxification of mind and soul and spirit (internal), but also of body. I feel that in some strange way they go together. How can our spirit be detoxed if our bodies are just being wasted. I believe there was something said about that in the book of 1 John, they called it Gnosticism.
So, on I go, running around in circles, literally. I am excited about this new thing in my life. I hope and pray that I have the discipline to finish strong and run the race that is marked out for me, in this case it is a half marathon.
Peace.

Church

I attend a Church In Seattle called Mars Hill. The reason that I attend is because I really meet God there. Not that I haven't met God at any other church, it is just different there. It doesn't make it better than any other Church, it is just that it brings different feelings and emotions to me.
When I think of church growing up I think of my home Church in Winnipeg, Canada. My memories there are ones of friendship, community, laughing, and mentorship. It was all of those things that kept me excited about attending on Sundays and Friday nights.
When I think of Church as a 20 year old in YWAM I think of the church I attended in Los Angeles. When I think of that Church I think of worship, freedom, authenticity and passion. Finally when I think of the the Church that I attended when I first came to Seattle I think of serving within your culture, striving for excellence, and Mission.
I believe that Church is all those things. It is the body of Christ being Jesus to each other and to a people who do not yet know Him. What struck me yesterday was the beautiful thing that Church is and what it can become. We are running these Gatherings in Seattle that I have such a passion and excitement for. I want it to be a place that represents all the good qualities that I have seen in the Church growing up till now. I want people who come to these Gatherings to feel like they are apart of it all. To feel like they bring something to the Gatherings.
This is the thing that I was thinking about yesterday at Church. One of the things that most people who I know don't like about Mars Hill is the singing. They have a different band in the morning than in the evening, and a different band each week. The reason that I like it is because it is incorporating the Church in the service, not just the same people each week. It is involving the body to participate in the service and not just the paid worship pastor. Now I have been in Churches where they involve people in the body to sing who just can't sing. That is just a bad Idea I think. We want people who can help us enter into worship, not distract us by their bad American Idol auditioning voices.
All this to say that I feel that I am on this journey. This journey of Church. Not a jouney out of hurt, but a journey out of health. I am not sure where this journey will take me, but I am finding myself more and more each day excited about Church and excited about the Church. People need the church of Jesus Christ. It brings healing, growth, Mission, passion, accountability, laughter, tears, life, friendship, community, acceptance, and Jesus.

Marriage

I was watching an interview on CNN.com today with Goldie Hawn and Larry King. It was Goldies Hawns 60 birthday and she had gotten a tatoo on her foot of a heart. For starters, that is pretty gross and pretty cool at the same time, but that is not what struck me.
The thing that got me to watch the interview twice was when Larry asked Goldie why her and Kirt Russel had not gotten married. Goldie Hawn told hime that they don't need a paper to be together, they just need to promise each other to be "the best we can be every day" She also said that they had both been married before, Goldie twice and it did not work. "What would it do to get married?" Goldie told Larry King. "It is sexy to be Kirt's girlfried. It says that we don't own each other, my union to you is in my heart and my promise. That is the best that we can do."
Why am I writing this? Because it makes me sad. What has the world come to? I pray that we as Christians can be an example and a light to people who have not found truth, and true love. Now I am not saying that Goldie and Kirt's marriage is not true love, I am sure it is. What I am saying is that marriage is seen as a joke and the Christians in the world who are married are not helping any. We have all heard the the divorce rate is at 50%, even among Christians. This needs to change. People don't need to start living together to avoid divorce, they need discipleship, council and friends.
That is my rant for this evening. Good night.

Happy Birthday

Recently I have been thinking about friendships and being a good friend. I wonder if I am a good friend to the people that God has place into my life? I think that one of the way's to be a good friend is to remember the little things, the small details. One of those details is peoples birthday's. There have been so many times that I have not even thought about the birthday's of the people that are around me. I am not just talking about the people that I am best friends with and see every day, hopefully I remember their birthday's, I am talking about the people who have passed in and out of my life.
I know how good it feels when someone who I don't expect remembers a little detail about my life, so why wouldn't I do the same for others? I think it is because I am not that great of a friend. Today I emailed everyone who I know, or at least who I remember and asked them their birthday's. Today I hope to start being a better friend to those people whom God has placed in and around my life.

What to write?

I am sitting here in Cloud City Cafe feeling compelled to write, but not sure what to write about. The last couple of day's have been very hard and confusing. I feel like I am just hanging on. It seems as though sometimes my perception of life changes. It is not that my circumstances change it is just that I see things differently. Sometimes I see things as better and sometimes I see things as worse. The last two day's I have seen things as worse.
It is not that I am doubting my calling or my place, I am just doubting me. I feel that I am not worthy to be in the position that I am in. I feel scared and alone. I also feel like a bad friend. There is a part of me that just wants to curl up and hide, but another part wants to fight harder, like it is all about me and my striving to be better. I am leaving no room for God and His grace.
God's grace. What a beautiful thing. How can I not leave room for it. Jesus came to this earth, lived a sinless life, died a brutal death on the cross and rose. All for me, All for me. Why do I doubt who I am? Why do I doubt my belonging and my importance? Jesus forgive me. Jesus help me. I need Jesus to intervene. These feelings that I have are not benifitial to me or anyone else in my life.
I believe that this is a time of testing that I need to pass through. I know that the only way to get through times like this is to go to God in prayer and seek others who can speak truth into the situation. The thing is that I haven't spoke to anyone for fear that my perceptions of myself (unworthiness) are correct, even though I know that they are not. I also haven't spoken to anyone around me because I am a leader and have been in leadership for a long time. I am supposed to be past all these feelings and helping others around me to not feel these way's. I am supposed to have figured all this stuff out by now. Bull Shit! Leadership cannot just be a place where those in it have it all figured out and don't need the help of others. Is leadership just a place to lead by being on top all the time? It can't be. Leadership has to be a place of walking beside. A place of journeying with someone else. Sharing your ups and downs. Sharing your confusions and also the things that you have figured out. When Jesus was in the garden the night he was betrayed he desired the companionship of his Disciples. In Mark 14 it say's
"They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, "Sit here while I pray."He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," he said to them. "Stay here and keep watch."
This is the leadership that I desire, this is the leadership that the world needs. I pray that i can be that kind of a leader, but I know that it starts with me.
I pray Jesus that you would help me to live out this day and this week in you. I pray that you would help me see me as I am, and when I doubt that you would show me truth. When I feel alone that I would surround myself with community and friends. I love you Lord.

Things I like

This morning, just I was reading my friend Lars Roods blog and it brought an overwhelming emotion over me. Lars posted a blog about things that he likes. It blew me away, people actually taking time to be thankful instead of complaining, WOW. I think it's time that I was thankful for the blessings in my life as well.

I like my little girl Emma, I like that my wife and I are getting along great lately, I like that I have a Mac that I can post blogs on, I like YWAM, I like my friends and my community in YWAM, I like that last week, for no reason whatsoever Dave gave me an i-pod, I like that it is sunny in Seattle today, I like that Emma still calls me daddy and not dad yet, I like that I am back in school, I like Jesus, I like that I know He likes me, I like my van, I like that there is an extra room in my house that I can be alone with God and my thoughts in, I like Cafe Solstice, I like that my friend Gordon took me to see U2, I like my friends in the Mission Adventures Network, I like that we got to take Emma to Disney World last week, I like the Bible, I like crying when something beautiful happens, I like my mom, I like learning, I like that other people can learn from me, I like that my friends like my wife and daughter, and I like that all these things are undeserved, but God gifts me with them regardless.

Batteries Not Included

I was spending some time reading this morning and came across this interesting article on the Sojourners site by David Batstone. I thought I would share it with you. It is called Batteries Not Included.
Batteries Not Included