Church

I attend a Church In Seattle called Mars Hill. The reason that I attend is because I really meet God there. Not that I haven't met God at any other church, it is just different there. It doesn't make it better than any other Church, it is just that it brings different feelings and emotions to me.
When I think of church growing up I think of my home Church in Winnipeg, Canada. My memories there are ones of friendship, community, laughing, and mentorship. It was all of those things that kept me excited about attending on Sundays and Friday nights.
When I think of Church as a 20 year old in YWAM I think of the church I attended in Los Angeles. When I think of that Church I think of worship, freedom, authenticity and passion. Finally when I think of the the Church that I attended when I first came to Seattle I think of serving within your culture, striving for excellence, and Mission.
I believe that Church is all those things. It is the body of Christ being Jesus to each other and to a people who do not yet know Him. What struck me yesterday was the beautiful thing that Church is and what it can become. We are running these Gatherings in Seattle that I have such a passion and excitement for. I want it to be a place that represents all the good qualities that I have seen in the Church growing up till now. I want people who come to these Gatherings to feel like they are apart of it all. To feel like they bring something to the Gatherings.
This is the thing that I was thinking about yesterday at Church. One of the things that most people who I know don't like about Mars Hill is the singing. They have a different band in the morning than in the evening, and a different band each week. The reason that I like it is because it is incorporating the Church in the service, not just the same people each week. It is involving the body to participate in the service and not just the paid worship pastor. Now I have been in Churches where they involve people in the body to sing who just can't sing. That is just a bad Idea I think. We want people who can help us enter into worship, not distract us by their bad American Idol auditioning voices.
All this to say that I feel that I am on this journey. This journey of Church. Not a jouney out of hurt, but a journey out of health. I am not sure where this journey will take me, but I am finding myself more and more each day excited about Church and excited about the Church. People need the church of Jesus Christ. It brings healing, growth, Mission, passion, accountability, laughter, tears, life, friendship, community, acceptance, and Jesus.

Marriage

I was watching an interview on CNN.com today with Goldie Hawn and Larry King. It was Goldies Hawns 60 birthday and she had gotten a tatoo on her foot of a heart. For starters, that is pretty gross and pretty cool at the same time, but that is not what struck me.
The thing that got me to watch the interview twice was when Larry asked Goldie why her and Kirt Russel had not gotten married. Goldie Hawn told hime that they don't need a paper to be together, they just need to promise each other to be "the best we can be every day" She also said that they had both been married before, Goldie twice and it did not work. "What would it do to get married?" Goldie told Larry King. "It is sexy to be Kirt's girlfried. It says that we don't own each other, my union to you is in my heart and my promise. That is the best that we can do."
Why am I writing this? Because it makes me sad. What has the world come to? I pray that we as Christians can be an example and a light to people who have not found truth, and true love. Now I am not saying that Goldie and Kirt's marriage is not true love, I am sure it is. What I am saying is that marriage is seen as a joke and the Christians in the world who are married are not helping any. We have all heard the the divorce rate is at 50%, even among Christians. This needs to change. People don't need to start living together to avoid divorce, they need discipleship, council and friends.
That is my rant for this evening. Good night.

Happy Birthday

Recently I have been thinking about friendships and being a good friend. I wonder if I am a good friend to the people that God has place into my life? I think that one of the way's to be a good friend is to remember the little things, the small details. One of those details is peoples birthday's. There have been so many times that I have not even thought about the birthday's of the people that are around me. I am not just talking about the people that I am best friends with and see every day, hopefully I remember their birthday's, I am talking about the people who have passed in and out of my life.
I know how good it feels when someone who I don't expect remembers a little detail about my life, so why wouldn't I do the same for others? I think it is because I am not that great of a friend. Today I emailed everyone who I know, or at least who I remember and asked them their birthday's. Today I hope to start being a better friend to those people whom God has placed in and around my life.

What to write?

I am sitting here in Cloud City Cafe feeling compelled to write, but not sure what to write about. The last couple of day's have been very hard and confusing. I feel like I am just hanging on. It seems as though sometimes my perception of life changes. It is not that my circumstances change it is just that I see things differently. Sometimes I see things as better and sometimes I see things as worse. The last two day's I have seen things as worse.
It is not that I am doubting my calling or my place, I am just doubting me. I feel that I am not worthy to be in the position that I am in. I feel scared and alone. I also feel like a bad friend. There is a part of me that just wants to curl up and hide, but another part wants to fight harder, like it is all about me and my striving to be better. I am leaving no room for God and His grace.
God's grace. What a beautiful thing. How can I not leave room for it. Jesus came to this earth, lived a sinless life, died a brutal death on the cross and rose. All for me, All for me. Why do I doubt who I am? Why do I doubt my belonging and my importance? Jesus forgive me. Jesus help me. I need Jesus to intervene. These feelings that I have are not benifitial to me or anyone else in my life.
I believe that this is a time of testing that I need to pass through. I know that the only way to get through times like this is to go to God in prayer and seek others who can speak truth into the situation. The thing is that I haven't spoke to anyone for fear that my perceptions of myself (unworthiness) are correct, even though I know that they are not. I also haven't spoken to anyone around me because I am a leader and have been in leadership for a long time. I am supposed to be past all these feelings and helping others around me to not feel these way's. I am supposed to have figured all this stuff out by now. Bull Shit! Leadership cannot just be a place where those in it have it all figured out and don't need the help of others. Is leadership just a place to lead by being on top all the time? It can't be. Leadership has to be a place of walking beside. A place of journeying with someone else. Sharing your ups and downs. Sharing your confusions and also the things that you have figured out. When Jesus was in the garden the night he was betrayed he desired the companionship of his Disciples. In Mark 14 it say's
"They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, "Sit here while I pray."He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," he said to them. "Stay here and keep watch."
This is the leadership that I desire, this is the leadership that the world needs. I pray that i can be that kind of a leader, but I know that it starts with me.
I pray Jesus that you would help me to live out this day and this week in you. I pray that you would help me see me as I am, and when I doubt that you would show me truth. When I feel alone that I would surround myself with community and friends. I love you Lord.

Things I like

This morning, just I was reading my friend Lars Roods blog and it brought an overwhelming emotion over me. Lars posted a blog about things that he likes. It blew me away, people actually taking time to be thankful instead of complaining, WOW. I think it's time that I was thankful for the blessings in my life as well.

I like my little girl Emma, I like that my wife and I are getting along great lately, I like that I have a Mac that I can post blogs on, I like YWAM, I like my friends and my community in YWAM, I like that last week, for no reason whatsoever Dave gave me an i-pod, I like that it is sunny in Seattle today, I like that Emma still calls me daddy and not dad yet, I like that I am back in school, I like Jesus, I like that I know He likes me, I like my van, I like that there is an extra room in my house that I can be alone with God and my thoughts in, I like Cafe Solstice, I like that my friend Gordon took me to see U2, I like my friends in the Mission Adventures Network, I like that we got to take Emma to Disney World last week, I like the Bible, I like crying when something beautiful happens, I like my mom, I like learning, I like that other people can learn from me, I like that my friends like my wife and daughter, and I like that all these things are undeserved, but God gifts me with them regardless.

Batteries Not Included

I was spending some time reading this morning and came across this interesting article on the Sojourners site by David Batstone. I thought I would share it with you. It is called Batteries Not Included.
Batteries Not Included