A short tribute to 80's Metal

So this post may get me in trouble, or mocked, but either way here goes. It is Saturday and as I was driving to Cloud City Cafe to get my $1 drip and toasted bagel with cream cheese Mettalica's Master of Puppets came on the radio. Now I don't care what anyone says, but this was and is one of the greatest rock songs ever played. I started thinking about all the other 80's metal out there and a few came to mind. AC/DC Back in Black, who's tape I have in the van, Priests Screaming for Vengence and Iron Maidens Powerslave also had a great influence in me banging my head and rocking out with my friends growing up.

I used to catch a lot of crap for listening to this music from my church, youth leaders, and wusses, but that is the music that my non-Christian friends listened to and that is who I hung out with. I was talking to a buddy this week about how I have always loved the Lord, but I just didn't like Degarmo and key. The people, including me, who listened to these bands were good people. We were not dangerous, or going to off someone cause James Hetfield said he did it, but we were just kid's listening to good music.




Now the thing with these bands and this music is that Maiden and Metallica are still putting out stuff when what they should be doing is just touring the old stuff all the time as that is the stuff that was pure and worth listening to. Anyway, this is my short tribute to 80's Metal. Keep it real boyz

Thanks

Finish Well

Today is Friday, the end of the work weed for most. I am sitting here drinking my Trader Joes black oily coffee (mmmmm) and thinking about how I want to go out of this week. I want to go out well, I want to finish well. It is raining outside in Seattle, my family is not here and the coffee is good. I could just putter around and not finish well at all, but that is not how I am designed. Now I don't mean that puttering around the house is bad, or coffee is bad, but what I do mean is that I don't want to just let myself go just because it is Friday.

Who can I touch today? Who can I think about or pray for? Who needs a smile or an encouragment? Who needs a friend or a shoulder to cry on? I want to be aware of the people around me and where they are at today. I don't want to just get through the day with me. Anyway, have a good day, ask God for direction, don't let your guard down, finish well.

Thanks.

XXX

So I am at home for a week in Seattle without my family. It is good in the fact that I can make my own hours, be selfish with my time, eat whenever and whatever I want (I am eating good, no McDonald's) and go to bed totally late. That is as far as it goes with the good side of being home alone. I am finding out quickly that the bad definitely outweighs the good.

The bad is that I am lonely. I miss having fun with my girls. I miss tucking Emma in at night. I miss holding Amy's hand. I miss a kiss goodnight. I miss carrying Emma around on my shoulders. I miss a crying, smiling baby. I miss dinner for 3. I miss taking care of someone other than myself. I miss accountability. I miss a full house, not the show, but an actual full house.

Anyway, another thing that is hard is where my mind goes when I am alone. It is like I resort back to a teenager who is alone and in a place where he can get away with anything. I have some bro's praying for me that I would be a man of integrity in my thoughts and actions, but it is a struggle. I want to be a man of God when no one is watching me and not just when I am surrounded by people. I mean seriously the only one who matters is the Lord, and He sees all.

I am encouraged by the fact that I don't need to satisfy my mind with anything but Jesus, but it is not always that easy to execute. I don't want to buy into the lie that the media poses that you can fill your mind and find satisfaction through lust and porn. This conversation has been going on in the lives of men for years and years. It is the topic of many a guy's small group and is a struggle for all. It has to stop. We, (I) must have integrity and live a life of denial and discipline. I think Jesus talked about denying ourselves and taking up His cross. Once again easier said than done, but He wouldn't have said it if it weren't possible.

Anyway, if you think of me pray with me. Thanks.

Combining and injustice

So I am in Saskatchewan right now visiting Amy's family and doing some support raising. Today was a weird day filled with strange and bizzar emotions. I just wanted to take a minute and talk about it with you.

Amy's family are farmers. Her dad and two brothers farm together in N. Saskatchewan. This year for them has been shit, to say the least and to say it bluntly. Please don't be offended by my use of words as I am not swearing, but trying to put things into perspective. There has been a lot of rain, which has stopped them from getting into the fields to harvest the crop. Their machinery has also been breaking down, which not only stops them from getting in the field, but costs them money in time and parts.

So, I was driving to Humbolt today to pick up a part and kept thinking of what I was about to do tonight at the church. I was talking about our ministry in Seattle and also about the The Invisible Children injustice issues. I couldn't get my head around the fact that it just seemed irrelevant and pointless to talk about stuff that we are doing and injustice issues when things were so hard here for the farmers. I almost bailed out as I just felt ridiculous.

Well I am now back at Amy's house and I made my presentation in spite of how I felt. I have a different perspective now than I did before I shared. My perspective now is that I needed to share with the church about injustice and the ministry that we are involved in. I told them that a part of our job is to help young people see that the world does not revolve around them, but there are other issues that are going on in the world that are different and at times, many times worse than the stuff they are going through.

This is how I felt tonight. I felt that even though things are tough for the farmers in this community, and I don't want to down play that especially since it just started raining again, that they needed to look outside of themselves and their own situations to see what else is important in the world. I hope that this is making sense. Anyway, all that to say that I feel tonight went well. I hope people heard from Jesus and not just little old me.

If I could as you one thing though it would be to please pray for the farmers in this area, specifically Amy's family. That would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Waffle House

I am in Nashville with my bud's from the Mission Adventures N. America Leadership Team, (don't worry, i'm not that important) and we went to the Waffle House for my first time. It was at 12:30am so it was a little more funny than usual i am sure. Anyway, things were great at home, now I am here for 3 day's. After that it is off to Saskatchewan for a few day's then home sweet home.

I miss my wife, can I just say that. She is a great person who I need in my life.

Also, I have wanted to get bumped for a while now on a flight and yesterday was my day. Unfortunately I couldn't take it as I needed to be where I am. It was free hotel and travel voucher. Oh well, I will pray that I get it again on the way home.

Later.

Pizza Pops

It is good to be in Canada, they are a bit odd here though. No offence to the country I grew up in, but they are still stuck in the 80's in a lot of way's. It is kinda funny and weird in a way.

One of the best things about coming here is raiding mom's fridge. Mom alway's takes care of me food wise. This time though, my nephew Stephen has been living with my mom and we like the same bad for you food, specifically Pizza Pops. To my dismay, yesterday I went into the freezer for a 3pm afternoon Pizza Pop snack and Stephen had gotten to them 1st. So sad.

Today I got to give a presentation to my home church about Cambodia as they are coming there with me in May. It was great to be able to do it. It also reminded me of how much I love that country and the people there, I can't wait to return.

Tomorrow night I give a 35 min. presentation to my home church at the evening service. I am very excited about that as I am talking about purpose and how we need to find our purpose and start to live it out. I am also talking about Invisible Children and how we can make a difference in the injustice that goes on in the world. Please keep that in your prayers if you read this.

Finally, there are no Mac's here. Another sad thing in a beautiful country.

Later eh!

So far so good.

Well I am here, sitting outside Best Buy so that I can send and receive. That sucks, but at least it is close to my house and it has wireless. Anyway, things are good. I like being here, but it is always a little wierd coming. I feel that there is an expectation, either put on me by me or by others. I want to rest, but I know I need to connect with people, which I love doing. I also just miss home and my friends and community back in Seattle.

Anyway, if you think of me just pray that I can enjoy, rest and connect.

Later

Gone to Winnipeg

Well, in 7 hours, at 6:30AM the family and I are off to Winnipeg. We will be there for 2 weeks. I am very excited to go and see family, supporters, old friends and new friends. It should be a great visit. It will be great to go to my home church and have an opportunity to speak to them about what we are doing out here and what there prayers and support is going to. I hope to raise our support a little bit while home as well.

It will, as always, be good to see family. I look forward to spending time just hanging out and being with them. I also hope that my mom stocked the fridge.

Finally, I am excited to hook up with my friend Jamie Arpin -Ricci who along with his wife Kim head up YWAM Winnipeg.

There is also a chance to see the Red Hot Chilli Peppers with my friend Matt. I don't like them, but it is a free show. I will try and keep in touch, but there in no internet in my mom's house.

Later

Heathen

So here is a funny/wired story that one my good friends Lars encouraged me to post. The other day I was at Mars Hill Church in Seattle. I was talking to a pastor there about church stuff and just getting to know them a bit better when who walks in the room wearing a t-shirt that says HEATHEN across it, Mark Driscoll. This was my 1st up close and personal encounter with Driscoll and all I could do was laugh and say "nice shirt." I don't know if I got a response, but I am pretty sure that he just wanted to punch me in the face.

Anyway, Mark is a great teacher, but pushes the bounds a bit, oh, did I say a bit? I meant a ton. Anyway, that is my funny quirky story for the week.

Later

Thought for the Week: Piece Of Mind

Wow, I managed to squeeze an Iron Maiden picture into my blog that went with the theme of this weeks post. Well, that is stretching it a bit, I feel like I am back in High School trying to think of any excuse to justify Maiden as I go about in my tight 501's and black Harley T-Shirt as my mom wouldn't let me wear rock shirts. No visual of that age required.

Anyway, I was talking to a friend yesterday about my life and what he thinks of what I am doing. He thought it sounded good, but thought that I was called or gifted to do something else. Not something totally different than the direction that I am headed, but a little different. Anyway, I spent a long time thinking about the advice, good advice at that, my friend gave me as I respect him and his opinion and wisdom. I came to the conclusion today thought that I am fully convinced in my own mind (Iron Maiden Piece of Mind album tie in) that I am following what God has placed on my heart.

The thing about me is that I am easily swayed like waves, James 1 speaks about this in the bible. I have been praying that God will give me vision, passion and goals and not be swayed from what God wants for me by others. I want to have others speak into my life, but I want to know that I am confident that I am doing what God wants so that even if people say I am wrong, or crazy I can still be strong in my call.

I guess that is my thought for the week. It is that we be fully convinced in our minds of what God has called us to regardless of what others say. This doesn't mean that we don't have to listen to others, the are in our lives to help us, but we need to listen to God first. I have been doing better in this and feeling less guilty and selfish for it. I encourage you to follow God's call on your life, which you will know by what you are passionate about and what you think about most. Do this regardless and I will do the same.

-amen-

Teaching

Tonight I get the opportunity to speak at a Youth Group in Puyallup. I am totally excited as I was asked to speak on Church. Specifically the early Church in Acts. I love what I read about the Church. I get excited when I think of what Church was intended to be. What exactly do I think it was intended to be?

Well, I see the Church as a group of people who love Jesus. People who gather together in large or small groups to worship Him with their time, money, relationships, etc. I see the church as believers helping those in need and bringing the truth of Jesus Christ. I see the Church as a people who devote themselves to Jesus teachings. I see the Church as something so real and exciting that people are daily being added to the Church as they fall in love with this Jesus by seeing His followers and being lead by the Holy Spirit. That is in a nutshell of course.

Tonight I am excited to bring this simple, yet lifechanging message to high schoolers. I am also excited because I am going to be doing the powerpoint from my i-pod video. Talk about redeeming things for Jesus.

Later

Mockingbird

Yesterday, Sept. 1, Derek Webb released his Album Mockingbird for free on line. You can find it here and download it. It is an interesting reason that he is releasing it for free, one that I think is worth the read. Here is a brief reason for the free download.

"one of the things that excites me most about the future of our business is how easy it is becoming to deliver music to people who want to hear it. I heard a story once about Keith green caring so much that people were able to hear and engage with his music that he gave it away for free, which was a very difficult and expensive thing to do at that time. It's actually never been as simple as it is today to connect music with music fans. And I want people to have a chance to listen to mockingbird and engage in the conversation.

I have never listened to Derek Webb before, but today I have been listening and enjoying it a lot. One of the lines that struck me is the 1st few lines of the album that say "there are days I don'’t believe the words I say. I am not sure why this strikes me, but I feel like this some times. I feel like I chang my mind on things alot. Not closed handed issues like salvation, Jesus, the inerrancy of the Bible, etc. But on everyday issues. I feel like some day's I am just speaking out of my ass (see the story of Balaam, if you are offended by the word ass, but make sure it is King James Version, haha). I just don't trust myself sometimes. I want to be more secure in who I am, but also not afraid to make mistakes in what I say. Anyway, that line rang strong in my ear and I will be thinking about it for a while.

Thanks for reading.

Thought for the week. Spiritual Gifts

I know, the picture is horrible, but I Googled Spiritual Gifts on Google Image and it came up. WOW! Anyway, I am not writing to make fun of pictures, although this one is worthy of it, I want to talk briefly on gifts. We were driving home from California The other day and as leaders we were praying about what direction we need to go as a base. The thing that I felt the Lord speaking to me about was that we need to figure out what giftings our staff and us have so that we can work together as a team more effectively.

I think that most of us don't really know what our gifts are, or we just don't recognize the things in our lives we are good at or passionate about as practical or spiritual gifts. I believe if we knew and walked in our giftings that we would get more done in our lives and make more of an impact in our job's and in the lives of those around us. I would encourage you to pray and seek God about what gifts he has given you and to learn to walk in them. There are also a lot of gift testings out there that can help you find out what your spiritual/practical giftings are.

Later

Books I am Reading

I have been reading a couple of books currently. I am excited about what they have to say and what I am learning. You can check them our here.






Ancient Future Faith

An Emerging Theology For Emerging Churches

Back in Seattle

Well it is good to be home. We left Chico, CA yesterday at 4:30pm and after one final stop at In N Out we arrived home at 5:00am. It was a great time to spend with our staff in Chico. The conference was not the greatest, but it had it's moments. The best thing for me was just seeing again the big picture of YWAM and connecting with new and old friends like Will Barrow from Pismo Beach, Richard Thomson from Las Vegas and Marty Meyer from Idaho.

I love our organization and the diversity or it and also the unity in it. There is much unity in diversity, but I suppose most people don't see it like that, but assume if you are different then there is nothing to connect on. It was also just great to connect with my friends here from YWAM Seattle. We don't get together as a staff too often, so this was a terrific time to connect with them.

On the other side, the coffee sucked. Oh my gosh, does anyone appreciate a good cup of coffee anymore? For sheesh sake, it was just Awful. So, it is good to be home, it is good to blog again and it is good to have a decent cup of Joe.

Later

Out of town

So tomorrow my family along with the YWAM Seattle staff are travelling to Chico, CA for the YWAM West Coast Conference. I am excited to see some old friends, see what direction YWAM is headed and eat some great food at In N Out Burger. Specifically a No. 1- Double Double, Fries, Dr. Pepper.

I will not be able to post until next Tuesday. I hope you have a great weekend.

Thank you Jesus.

Thought for the week. Prayer

Lately I have found myself forgetting to pray for the things that matter to me. It has been a humbling thing realizing that my prayer life is not very disciplined and I get caught up in so many other things during the day that at night I realize what I should have been praying for, but by then I am so tired that I just fall asleep trying to pray. I decided that this needed to change. If I really believe in prayer, that it is the most important thing, then I need to be doing it more as a part of my daily life.

A couple of weeks ago I just entered some things into the calendar of my phone that I want to pray for. I wanted to pray regularly for the leadership and staff of our base, my family and our support, injustice issues, The Gathering, etc. So, each day starting at 8:30am a different prayer item pops up on my phone every hour and I stop what I am doing and pray for that issue or thing (unless I am driving of course). It is interesting when I am in a meeting and a reminder pops up I just take a few seconds and commit the prayer to the Lord.

I love that I am consciously remembering to pray daily for things that matter. I wonder what would happen if we all did something that helped us stop each day and pray for people or things. How is your prayer life? Is it important to you? Do you really believe that prayer can make a difference? I can't wait to see what a difference it makes in my life.

Thanks.

How Sad

I read an article tonight from the LA Times on the Episcopal church. It was very sad to read. It talkes about how as a denomination they have fallen away from basic, closed hand Biblical truths such as the ordination of practicing homosexuals and the following:

Episcopalian at Columbus overwhelmingly refused even to consider a resolution affirming that Jesus Christ is Lord. When a Christian church cannot bring itself to endorse a bedrock Christian theological statement repeatedly found in the New Testament, it is not a serious Christian church. It's a Church of What's Happening Now, conferring a feel-good imprimatur on whatever the liberal elements of secular society deem permissible or politically correct.

It makes me so sad and angry and confused at how people can fall so far away from the truth. I hope that someone rises up in the Episcopal church to bring it back to Jesus.

Read More

We are done.

11 day's, 6 DVD's, long, late nights and 24 hours later we are done with season 4. It has been great. I am not quite ready to start season 5, although if it were out right now I would probably go and rent it as I write. Anyway, it has been an experience and now is done.

Thanks Jack Bower, your my hero.

Embrace The Pain

Yesterday Amy, Emma and I were picking blackberries for a cake that we are making for Ben's birthday, which is today. I am not sure if you have ever picked blackberries, but the bushes have thorns all over them that make rose bush thorns look like soft little cotton balls. I was thinking as I was picking berries and getting the skin skratched off of me about pain. The thing that I was thinking was that sometimes the pain is a part beauty. There was pain in me picking blackberries, but in the end it was worth it as later on I will be eating an amaizing, fresh blackberry cake with my friends on Ben's birthday.

When Amy and I were in the hospital 2 weeks ago there was much pain. God say's to Eve in Genesis that there will be an increased pain in childbirth. I will be sensitive how I put this, but I am pretty sure that Amy sees that the pain of childbirth brought about the beautiful baby girl that we love so much now. Through the pain came something beautiful.

I feel that this is the same in our walk with Christ. It is painfull sometimes. Life is painfull sometimes. I used to want to walk away from the pain and move on to something else, but I have leared that if I embrace the pain that the result will be something beautiful. Out of my pain has come freedom, healing, joy, understanding, and much fruit.

Jesus embraced the pain of the cross so that he could bring us eternal life with Him. He saw what the cross would bring and went through the pain out of His love for us. I encourage you to ask God if the pain you are in is from Him and ask Him for the courage to embrace the pain. Embrace it so that when you come out of it you are a changed, renewed, wiser person who can sit down with friends and enjoy blackberry cake.

6 hours left to save the world

So nine day's ago Amy and I embarked on season 4 of 24. We only have 6 hours left to see how Jack Bower saves the world and gets us to season 5. It has been 8 day's of going to sleep at approx. Midnight and struggling to wake up only to do it all over again.
It is great what Jack has done for Amy and I. The show (as cheesy as this may sound, and don't take me to seriously) has helped us just wind down and rest together at the end of the day while the kid's are sleeping. It has been fun for us to pound through season 4. We don't usually sit down together at the end of the day. Usually I am reading a book and she is sewing or watching something else. I love spending time with Amy at nights.

It is not that we are engaged in deep conversation, it is just fun and relaxing. So here's to you Jack Bower.

Thought for the week. Goals and Desires

I really want to start posting thoughts for the week on my blog. I kind of got the idea from my friend Rhett where he sometimes puts up weekend musings. I want to be more regular in my blogging and also post with some consistency. I feel that this will cause me to think more about life, become more disciplined and also give regular visitors something to think about during the week. Here's hopin it goes well.

This week we had a guy come in to talk to our staff named Mike. He was talking about counciling people, specifically the students that come to our schools, our staff and each other. One of the things that he talked about which I want to write about here is the fine line and difference between a goal and a desire.

We talked about how people get mad at God, themselves and others because they set goals for themselves that they have no control over. Here is an example. Is it a good goal to want your children to grow up following Christ? NO. The reason that it is not a good goal is that we have no control over weather or not our children grow up following Christ. Now it is a good desire to have that our children grow up to follow Christ, but it can't be a goal. The thing about goals and desires is that they are so close together.

Let me explain. We can only have goals for ourselves. We can have a goal to be a good husband, or a good father, or a good friend, but we can't have a goal that someone be a good friend to us, or a good spouse to us, or a good child. These are desires. We can only do what we can do and the response of those people around us is up to them, not us. If we have a goal for our kids to be followers of Christ we may manipulate or twist things so that this happens, instead of just loveing our kids, raising them in the way's of Christ and letting the Holy Spirit do the work in their lives to draw them to walk in the way's of Jesus. I hope that this in making sense, and if not then take some time to think about it. I still am.

I have set goals in my life to be a good friend, love my wife and raise my children to be followers of Christ. Now it is my desire that I have good friends, that my wife is loving and faithfull to me and that my children walk with Jesus. What are your goals and desires?

Reorganizing

I was talking to my friend Ben the other day and he was saying that God is showing him that he is not what he does, but who he is. It is not about doing, but about being. I totally agree and have been thinking about this for the last few day's steadily, but probably for the last bunch of years off and on.

I know that Ben is right, that we are not what we do, but who we are, but it is very hard for me to live that. I feel that I need to be doing stuff to show who I am. I know that we have do be doing stuff, but I also think that I can get into this thing that if I am not doing anything that I am not being anything. This is where I get wacked.

I have been running and running for years just getting things done, and when I am not getting things done I am feeling stressed that I am not getting things done. This has worn on me and also my family. I remember talking to a pastor and he told me that we need to produce for people. He is a pastor and he needs to produce for his congregation. I am a missionary on support and I need to produce for my supporters to see what they are supporting. This affirmed the lie that I was already believing.

Well last week I had a baby, as I have shown off a couple of times in this blog. It has been a season (2 weeks) of just hanging out with my family and doing dishes, playing with Emma, changing diapers, cuddling, and puttering around the house. It has been killing me and making me feel that I am getting nothing done. Today I am reorganizing my storage and getting things in order. My wife loves it, but I feel that I am not getting kingdom stuff done. Well, I am wrong. I know that I am wrong.

My security is obviously in what I do and not in who I am. I can't even have a vacation and not feel guilty about sitting around not doing any "ministry", whatever that means. I am learning. Ministry is all of life, but right now it is my family. Pray for me that I can get it right and slow down and be and not just do.

Thanks.

Could this be a mistake?

OK, so it has officially begun. Amy and I have started watching season 4 of 24. Our friends went away for 2 1/2 weeks and forwarded their netflix to us. We have 2 1/2 weeks to get through it. As if we weren't suffering from a lac of sleep already. This is not going to help. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we push through season 4. This could be a huge mistake, but we are already hooked.

Later.

Change

I have been thinking a lot lately about change. I like change. I think it is good. It is scary, but it is what keeps up alive in some ways. We change a lot of things. Here are ten things that come to mind out of the infinite amount of things we change, good and bad all the time.
1. Underwear
2. Socks
3. Job's
4. Schools
5. Styles
6. Diet
7. Girl friends, Boy friends.
8. Sex Change (This is one of the bad ones).
9. Disciplines
10. Favorite music

I have had a lot of change in my life lately. Some changes have been great, some hard. The great ones are the ones that are inspiring me lately. The bad change inspires me too, but not tonight. There have been two significant changes in my life in the last week. One is the birth of my baby girl Abby. I have more responsibility to my family now. The amount of time that I can go out and have a life outside of my home will change because of Abby. I am excited about this because I want to be a good father and husband to my wife and children. I also want to be a good example of a husband and father to the singles and married people without kid's that we are in contact with daily. I want people to see a good, healthy family structure. A family that is committed to each other beyond anything else. I think that this is rare for people to see.

The other significant change in my life is in YWAM. I feel called in a different direction. A different direction within YWAM. I want to be involved more long term in peoples lives. I feel that I am doing that a little bit now, but I want to be doing it more. I want to be connecting more with seekers, not just people who have already found the truth. Jesus says that He came to call sinners, not the righteous. Not that I want to work primarily with people who have not yet met Jesus, but I want to do it more.

I also want to be involved long term in peoples lives by "feeding His sheep. Jesus asked Peter to feed His sheep. This is not a one time deal. If we only feel sheep once it will only keep them alive till they starve to death. To feed His sheep means long term work. It is laboring with the sheep. The compliant ones and the rebellious ones. I want to feel Jesus sheep. I want to be involved more. I am not sure how this is going to look, but I know that Jesus wants me to figure it out with Him. I am grateful for the change that has happened and the change that I believe I am stepping into soon.

Well that is all the inspiration I have for tonight. I will be waking up in a couple of hours with Abby so I should sign off.

One more thing, Amy and I watched The Fastest Indian tonight. It was recommended to me by my friend Dave Laird. It is good, you should watch it some time.

My two sleeping beauties.

It is 2:58pm and my two little girls just fell asleep. We are all a bit tired lately, but very, very joyfully. This little girl Abby is going to bring so much to our family. It is great to see Emma trying to help out, even though she is always just a step away from dropping her. God has definitely blessed us. I pray that I never forget.

Jesus, thank you so much for your gift to us. Thank you for putting my 3 girls (Amy Emma Abby) into my life. Help me to honor you in the way I serve and lead them. I am without words. -amen-

Pictures of Abby

First Night

Well it is 5:30am and we are almost through the first night with Abby. Man, she is cute. I will be good to get home and upload some pictures for you to see. It was a long night. I forgot how different it is having a newborn. I can't just put on Veggie Tales and go back to bed. Yesterday I was cursing Phil Visher, today I am realizing that he is a necessary annoiance.

I think that I am a parinoid dad. I always check to see if the baby is OK if she is quiet for a long period of time. I also jump up if I hear even the slightest noise wondering if she is fine. I was holding her earlier tonight and she felt hot so I grabbed the nurses nifty thermometer and checked her temperature. She was 99.9. I called the nurse and he came in and checked and she was 99.9. I figured that she was sick, but he just told me to take some blankets off of her as she was wrapped like a burrito on a hot mexican summer day.

I need to realize that God is in control of my little Abby's life. He kept her alive and growing in the womb and He will keep her growing outside of it. I sometimes forget that I am not in control and get all freaked out and worried. I hate when people say that they need to "let go and let God" so I am not going to say it, but I do need to trust my father and Abby's father more.

She is nursing now, so hopefully Amy and I can get some sleep. Thank you Jesus for this new journey and our new little girl Abby.

Abby Jayne Cunningham

So, we have a brand new baby girl. Her name is Abby Jayne Cunningham. She was born at 12:15 pm on Monday July 31, 2006. Abby weighed in at 9lbs 3oz. and was 20 " long. She is totally cute and healthy. I love her so much already. Amy did great, she is my new hero. I will post pictures as soon as I can.

Thanks for your prayers.

Phil

Here we go.

We are at the hospital waiting to have our baby. It is exciting and scary. I am proud of Amy. I think that she is going to do great, I hope I can go without saying anything stupid.

Later

Cigar

Well, it looks like tomorrow I will be smoking one of these bad boy's. Yep, that is right. My baby girl will be born. We are going into the hospital at 7:00 am or so to have a baby. If you think of us please pray. Sheesh, here we go again. Good times, I can't wait.

So tonight Amy and I sat with Emma and thought about how things are going to change. We took our video camera and asked Emma to say some words for the baby. She told her that she will see her tomorrow and that she will be changing her poopy diapers. Sweet.

Well good night to you all and I will write again when I am with my new baby girl.

Ride the Ducks

Yesterday I went on Ride The Ducks with Amy, Emma and her mom and dad. It was great. Seriously, it ruled. As a local in satellite I figured it would be cheesy and embarrassing. Well it was that, but I did learn a lot about my city that I haven't known until now. Also, as we were down town on the tour there was a guy shooting at people at the Jewish Federation offices 4 blocks away. It was quite the time.

Anyway, if you are ever in Seattle and looking for something to do, or if you are a local and have people coming to visit and you want them to spend $22 on you then I encourage you to Ride The Ducks.

Emma even got to drive.

Invisible Children

Tonight was our final night of Mission Adventures for the summer of 2006. WOW! Tonight we watched the Invisible Children video and talked about purpose. The Invisible Children tells a story of thousands of children between the ages of 8-14 in N. Uganda who are abducted and forced to fight in the Lords Resistance Army (LRA). The LRA kidnaps children and forces them to fight for them. They teach them how to kill or be killed. The reason that they chose children is that they are the most teachable and obedient. Sort of like people get children as slaves because they are better workers. It is sick. The leader of the LRA is a man named Joseph Kony.

The Invisible Children video documents these children who leave their homes in the village and walk for miles each night into the city centers to sleep in safety. The reason they walk is to avoid getting kidnapped. 3 guy's went to N. Uganda and documented this injustice and there is change happening as a result.

Tonight I challenged the students to wake up. Wake up and become aware of the injustice that is all over our world. Wake up and do something. We have the power to change the world, but we are to busy sitting on our asses waiting for someone else to do it. Well no one else is doing it, they are waiting for us. I encourage you to check out the Invisible Children and see what God would have you do.

Thanks.

Crazy from the heat

I am not complaining, well not to much, but it is real hot in Seattle. These last few day's it has been in the 90's. That is fahrenheit for all you Canadians reading. So yea, it is hot. We have one more week of Mission Adventures left, my wife is officially over due and it is hot. Did I mention that it is hot?

Now I am complaining that it is hot and I am only carrying around my slightly overweight belly. I can't even imaging what my wife must be going through carying around out daughter. We would appreciate your continued prayers as we go through this time.

Anyway, we will get through. This week is our biggest week of the summer. We have 2 youth groups coming through with a total of 46 people. Both groups are going to Costa Rica for their outreach. It will be an exciting week as it is always a different feel when there are more people and I expect that Amy and I will have a new baby girl. Anyway, please pray for us during this next week that our staff would be excited and finishing strong and that God would move in the lives of everyone coming through the program. We are excited about what He has already done so far.

Why God?

Today was a hard day for me. Today should be a day of celebration as it is the due date of our soon to be born little girl, but it turned out to be a day of hurt instead of a day of celebration.

Two things happened today that were very hard and had me asking a lot of questions. 1st, I attended the memorial of Dylan Church, who was Shawn and Kristins son. Shawn is the pastor of Maple Leaf Evangelical Church here in Seattle. Their boy Dylan was due 3 weeks after Amy was due, but a week and a half ago they found out that he had died in the womb. On Friday July 14 Kristin Church delivered her baby boy Dylan who was 6lb 2 oz and just over 19" long. Today, on Amy's due date I attended Dylans memorial service. I asked myself the question why over and over. I also just sat there in sadness for the family of this boy Dylan.

Later on in the day I helped my friend Athena move out of her apartment and into a room in a house in the Central District. Athena and Pat, her husband recently split up after approx. 6 years. The hard thing is that Pat and Athena have two young boy's, Sean and Cian. It was so hard to see the boy's as I know that they are wondering why their mom and dad are not together anymore and why they have to move. I wonder how Athena is going to do with her boy's and with moving. There were once again so many questions.

I trust Jesus, and I know that His heart is grieved. It is hard to see friends go through such hard times. It was weird as today was supposed to be a day of celebration as our daughter was to be born (she is not here yet), but it turned out to be a day of questions and hardship seeing the hurt that my friends were and are going through. I wish I could write better and express the feelings I have, but I wanted to share what I could.

Thanks

Baby ?

Well it is 4 day's till Amy's due date for our second baby. I have to tell you that I am excited and terrified at the same time. Yesterday I spent a portion of the day reading The Birth Partner and started to get a little freaked out. Man, the things that a woman has to go through to birth a baby. Unbelievable. It is crazy to think that this is one of the results of the fall. Wow!

The reason that I got scared is because my life is about to change. I don't know when it is going to change, but it could be before I finish this post. I was praying tonight and I felt like God told me that it is going to be OK. Those words were totally comforting to me. Thank you God. I hope that I can be a good partner to Amy in the hospital. They said in the book that I need to be physically strong to massage her and push on her back and legs. I hope I am strong enough. They also said that there will come a point where my jokes will no longer be funny. Man, I am screwed. Pray for me.

I think it is also hard because my family is so far away from us. I wish that my mom and dad and the rest of my family could be here, or at least closer. It is such an amaizing thing to be apart of and they are missing it. I am greatfull for digital cameras and the internet though. Thank you World Wide Web guy. Anyway, just wanted to post and keep you updated. I will let you know when my little girl comes into the world.

Later.

Baby?

Well it is July 14 and as you can tell from the picture there is no baby yet. Amy and I are expecting our 2nd girl on July 22nd. We are hoping for her to come earlier, but we will see. Most people who I have talked to seem to think that Monday July 17th will be the day. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

I am not sure how I feel about our families new addition. Don't get me wrong, I am totally excited, but a little nervous about starting over again. I feel that we have done a pretty good job with Emma, I hope that we can do it again with our new little girl who we have yet to have a name for. Some questions that I have are How different will she be? Will she be a good sleeper? Will she cry lot's? Will Emma like her?

There is also the thought of giving total care to another person. She will be totally dependent on us for a long time. She can't communicate, can't walk or crawl and can't just go to the fridge to get her old man a beer. Man, what will I do? The thing that I know is that as soon as she is born all of these things will pass away, well except for the beer thing (just kidding). When I see my little girls face for the 1st time it will be over. Just joy and love and excitement.

There is also the thought of the hospital and labor. Oh man, talk about a time to be totally selfless and not say anything stupid to your wife like does it hurt? Owe, stop squeezing my hand so hard, you have no idea how much that hurts. Yes, I do need your prayers for that, as does my wife.

For those of you reading this who have 2 kid's any advice would be appreciated. For those of you who have 1 or none your prayers are appreciated. Thanks and I will keep you posted. By the way, for those of you wondering. Yes, the pictures were taken at the Apple Store with the Mac Book Pro.

Later

Mr. T

I am sitting here at my kitchen table drinking good Thailand Peaberry coffee and reading about Mr. T. Yep, you read right, Mr. T. I am attaching an article from Yahoo News about how Mr. T went to visit the destruction of Hurricane Katrina and decided, based on the disaster of it that he would hang up his gold. Wow on many levels. One is that I was reading Yahoo News. It was a link from Relevant Magazine so I don't feel that bad. Wow also that Mr. T is going non-gold.

I met Mr. T in LA in 95. I was helping the Fred Jordan Mission down at Skid Row serve their anual Thanksgiving dinner and T was hanging around greeting everyone. Man, what a cool experience that was for me an old A-Team fan. Anyway, good for Mr. T for taking a stand. I hope it lasts. Here is the article.

Fri Jul 14, 9:01 AM ET

Mr. T has given himself a makeover. The former television action star shed the piles of gold chains that were his signature look after witnessing the destruction from Hurricane Katrina.

"As a spiritual man, I felt it would be a sin against my God for me to wear all that gold again because I spent a lot of time with the less fortunate," the actor said Thursday at the Television Critics Association's summer meeting.

"I saw some, I call it `sorry celebrities.' They'll go down there and hook up with the people to take a photo-op. I said, `How disgusting.' If you're not going to go down there with a check and a hammer and a nail to help the people, don't go down there."

Mr. T, whose real name is Lawrence Tero, stars in "I Pity the Fool" debuting in October on TV Land. He dispenses advice to viewers who are struggling with life's problems.

The former star of "The A-Team" said he's about more than his rough-and-tough image.

"Yes, I am qualified to beat people up. But I am pretty intelligent," he said. "That's what throws people off. If you've been through something, that gives you an authority that you can speak on certain things. That's why people relate to me. I pull no punches."

Old Fashioned

Sometimes I wonder if I have an old fashioned view of Jesus and Christianity. I mean, I was sitting in our Mission Adventures Staff meeting tonight and it was just depressing. it is like people are looking at themselves and their problems and not to Jesus. I am not diminishing anyones problems and saying that they are not real, I am just saying that I feel that people that I come into contact with lately who are so called postmodern or whatever you want to call it just depress me.

I am not trying to pull a blanket over everyone, I am just frustrated. Is Jesus enough? I think so. In that though, I feel that some people feel that the answer is more than Jesus. I hear people say the answer is Jesus and feeding someone. Or Jesus and bringing justice. I feel that Jesus is the only answer, but that through Jesus and our love and commitment to Him we will be bringers of Justice and of those other things.

I may be saying the same thing as my friends who I get frustrated with, but I feel that there is a uprising of pessimistic, depressing Christ Followers that make me just want to scream. Am I old fashioned in that I want to get excited about Jesus instead of sitting there all inward focused and deconstructing everything that I have ever been taught about faith, Jesus and mission? I hope not, and I don't think so. Am I just making things to simple by thinking that Jesus is God and cares about us and wants to work in us so that we can be a part of reaching the world for Him.

It is late and I am tired. I also wish I were better at putting things into words. Maybe later when it is not so late.

Good Night.

Father Daughter Day

Today I spend the day getting the baby room ready for the up and coming child and chillin with my baby girl Emma. It was totally cool. We had breakfast together with mommy at 10 after sleeping in. After breakfast we just puttered around the house and moved stuff out of the spare bedroom as we are turning it into a baby room. We cleared out our garage that is usually used to store Mission Adventures stuff and made room in there for an office so that I can work more from home and play Nintendo 64 without interruption.

After lunch Amy went to our friends baby shower and Emma and I went for a bike Ride. We rode our bikes down the street to the pet daycare and hung out with some dogs. Emma got to give one of them a treat and pet another one. She was all giggles about the whole thing.

After the doggy daycare, which I personally think is over the top, we proceeded to QFC to snack on some free samples. It was a good day as they had muffins, cookies, coffee and salmon. We sat on the sidewalk for a while beside our bikes and talked and snacked.

After that we rode down to the park and played an adventure game in the bushes. There were a lot of thorns there so we didn't stay for to long. Then we headed home and made some ice cream cones and waited for mommy.

You know I wonder if God ever has these kind of day's with me? The kind of day where we just hang out and he is excited to be with me. A day where at the end of it He wants to tell people about His time with his kid Phil. Wouldn't that be cool? In face, I think that it happens. I really think that God loves to just spend the day with us. He loves to walk with us, talk with us and enjoy company. It seems as though God and Adam had this kind of relationship. God made him and talked with him and I am sure they just walked together and hung out. He showed Adam all that he made and gave him instructions. I know that He must have walked and hung out with Him as it say's in Gen. 3:8 that Adam and Eve heard God walking in the Garden in the cool of the day so they hid.

It is so sad that out relationship with God was broken. What must it have been like? I want to hang out with God more. I want to walk with Him and talk with Him more. I want to blog about my cool day with God.

Today

What can I say? Today has been a hard, long, draining day. I have been lied to, accused in the wrong, deceived, and mislead. What a way to start out a blog. I am tired. I have been in meetings all afternoon and some of this evening dealing with issues involving some people I work with. The hard thing is that I trusted these people and was let down. There has been forgiveness and grace given, but I am hurt. I have released forgiveness, but I am angry and magerly let down. What can I do? What should I do?

I think that the reason I am hurt so much is because I released so much trust and energy only to be mocked. I guess that is what happens when you invest your time in people, sometimes you get hurt. It happened to Jesus, I mean they put him on a cross after he healed them and showed them the Father. Why should I be surprised that it would happen to me. It still hurts.

Thanks for listening to me.

Later.

Phil

Canada Day

Today is Canada day, so in honor of my fine country I am sitting down and enjoying a Labatt's and wanted to give you a brief history of how Canada came to be from Winkipedia

Canada Day celebrates the creation of the dominion of Canada through the British North America Act on July 1, 1867, uniting three British territories — the Province of Canada (southern Ontario and southern Quebec), Nova Scotia, and New Brunswick into a federation.

A proclamation was issued by Governor General Lord Monk, on June 20, 1868, asking for "all Her Majesty's loving subjects throughout Canada to join in the celebration of the anniversary of the formation of the union of the British North America provinces in a federation under the name of Canada on July 1."[1]
The holiday was formally established by statute in 1879, and was originally called Dominion Day, making reference to the term "dominion," which was first used to describe a political union within the British Empire for Canada, at a time when the British government was hesitant to adopt the name proposed by the Fathers of Confederation: Kingdom of Canada.
The name was changed to Canada Day on 27 October 1982, largely harking back to the adoption of the earlier Canada Act 1982.
On Dominion Day 1923, the Chinese Immigration Act of 1923 went into effect. Until the act was repealed in 1947, many Chinese-Canadians referred to July 1 as "Humiliation Day" and refused to celebrate Canada's birthday.
Quebec also has Moving Day on 1 July, due to the fact that most leases there begin and end on that day, with many people changing residences. Federalist Quebec residents who oppose the popular sovereigntist campaign for an independent Québec joke that Moving Day is scheduled to ensure Quebecers are too busy moving house to celebrate Canada Day.

Mission Adventures

So tomorrow we start our 8th year of Mission Adventures. WOW, how am I still going? I am excited about it this year as my role is minimal as I am preparing for fatherhood once again and feel as though someone else should run the day to day. This week however is our 1st week and I am speaking. I am sure it will be busy, but I am surprisingly looking forward to it with much anticipation.
Tonight I was telling Amy that I am excited about the opportunity to set the tone for the summer through speaking on my own program. I feel as though I will be able to express myself more then just through hosting it and I will be able to get away with more. I am not sure what that means except I feel that I can take more risks this year. I will let you know how it goes.
Until then, keep me and us in your prayers.
Later

24

I am not sure how to say this subtly, so I will just say it, I stay awake at night thinking about Kiefer Sutherland. Don't freak our ot think I am to wierd because many people think about him often. I am talking of course about his role in 24. WOW! If there was ever a time in my life that I needed to go to bed early it is now, but instead my wife and I usually find ourselves starting to watch 24 on the lap top at around 11pm. Even now, it is 10:35 pm, and I am tired like a crazy tired person, but I can't go to sleep until I find out what happens to Jack in the next episode. If you have not let yourself become addicted to 24 I would encourage you to take the plunge. It is well worth it.

Anyway, I needed to come out of the closet on this one. I hope you day is filled with joy and your night is filled with Kiefer. Thanks.

Britney Spears

I was just watching a show where Briney Spears was on Dateline. I just wanted to quote her as she said some Brilliant things. Here they are

1. "I like working with funny people. I find funny people Hilarious."

2. "I like money."

So sad is all I can say. It is so sad.

Who am I?

Lately I have been thinking a lot about who I am. It has been an interesting journey. I have talked to a few people about this who I am close to and it has turned into something that I am thinking about and aware of on a daily basis. Now you may be wondering why I would be constantly thinking about who I am, but it is because I feel that somewhere along the way I lost myself, or I gave myself away.

I have been realizing that when I get into a relationship, romantic (which is my wife) or platonic (everyone else), I often find myself doing things, or becoming something that I feel that the other person would like me to be. By this I mean pretending that I am interested in things that they are interested in so that they won't be hurt. Having my coffee black if they have theirs black so that they won't have to feel bad about not having cream Wanting to read something that they are interested in when I am not interested one bit just to belong. Now these things sound good in themselves, but my reasoning in all of this and many more situations is not healthy. It is not so that I can enter into another persons world, it is because I don't feel that mine is worthy of them entering into.

Wow, I just read that above paragraph and even I am confused. I am just using this post to throw up all over and then sort out the chunks. Hopefully someone out there reading this (the 3 of you) can relate. I have found that I have given the beauty of me away because in a lot of way's I find no beauty. I read the verses that say that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, but I rarely live that out. I am at a point of being sick of it. Sick of not living out me and the person God created me to be. In my journey to find out who I am I have some fear and reservation. What if I don't like who I am, or what if I am not really nice, but just pretending to be nice so that I don't hurt anyone's feelings?

But, what if I am a strong, secure, honest leader and servant. Someone who God wants to use to bring others closer into relationship with Him. What if I am exactly who God intended me to be, wouldn't that suck if I never found out. I am on a journey. I am going through a metamorphosis. I want, desire and need change. I am sick of robbing people, and me of me. If you are reading this please pray for me and with me. It is exciting, but scary all the same.

Thanks.

Cambodia Adventure

I am sitting in the Singapore airport/mall on my way home from Cambodia posting for the 2nd time today as the last time it was erased as blogger went down as I was publishing. Good ol blogger. Good thing I am coming home from a mission trip as my heart is good and I didn't cuss blogger to much.

Just a short post as this keyboard stinks and my connection to Seattle via Hong Kong and San Fran leaves shortly. I just want to say that in my history of mission trips
this one was one of the best. I will post later on the details and what God did, but
for now I just want to thank some key people.

Lars and Wade, thank you for your hearts and commitments to the team and to outreach. You made this trip so much easier. I would do a trip with you again any time.

Jonah, Chris and Bethany thank you for hosting us. You made us feel involved in your ministry and your lives. Congrats on the engagement Chris.

Manny and the team thank you for being great. Thank you for working hard, caring for each other and Cambodia. Thank you for taking it sereously. Thanks also for making us part of your team. I hope to do it again.

Thank you Cambodia. Thank you for your smiles and love. Thank you also for your acceptance.

Thank you Jesus mostly. Thanks for being truth and for keeping us safe and giving us this opportunity.

Thank you to all of you who prayed. It was beautiful