Reorganizing

I was talking to my friend Ben the other day and he was saying that God is showing him that he is not what he does, but who he is. It is not about doing, but about being. I totally agree and have been thinking about this for the last few day's steadily, but probably for the last bunch of years off and on.

I know that Ben is right, that we are not what we do, but who we are, but it is very hard for me to live that. I feel that I need to be doing stuff to show who I am. I know that we have do be doing stuff, but I also think that I can get into this thing that if I am not doing anything that I am not being anything. This is where I get wacked.

I have been running and running for years just getting things done, and when I am not getting things done I am feeling stressed that I am not getting things done. This has worn on me and also my family. I remember talking to a pastor and he told me that we need to produce for people. He is a pastor and he needs to produce for his congregation. I am a missionary on support and I need to produce for my supporters to see what they are supporting. This affirmed the lie that I was already believing.

Well last week I had a baby, as I have shown off a couple of times in this blog. It has been a season (2 weeks) of just hanging out with my family and doing dishes, playing with Emma, changing diapers, cuddling, and puttering around the house. It has been killing me and making me feel that I am getting nothing done. Today I am reorganizing my storage and getting things in order. My wife loves it, but I feel that I am not getting kingdom stuff done. Well, I am wrong. I know that I am wrong.

My security is obviously in what I do and not in who I am. I can't even have a vacation and not feel guilty about sitting around not doing any "ministry", whatever that means. I am learning. Ministry is all of life, but right now it is my family. Pray for me that I can get it right and slow down and be and not just do.

Thanks.

Could this be a mistake?

OK, so it has officially begun. Amy and I have started watching season 4 of 24. Our friends went away for 2 1/2 weeks and forwarded their netflix to us. We have 2 1/2 weeks to get through it. As if we weren't suffering from a lac of sleep already. This is not going to help. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we push through season 4. This could be a huge mistake, but we are already hooked.

Later.

Change

I have been thinking a lot lately about change. I like change. I think it is good. It is scary, but it is what keeps up alive in some ways. We change a lot of things. Here are ten things that come to mind out of the infinite amount of things we change, good and bad all the time.
1. Underwear
2. Socks
3. Job's
4. Schools
5. Styles
6. Diet
7. Girl friends, Boy friends.
8. Sex Change (This is one of the bad ones).
9. Disciplines
10. Favorite music

I have had a lot of change in my life lately. Some changes have been great, some hard. The great ones are the ones that are inspiring me lately. The bad change inspires me too, but not tonight. There have been two significant changes in my life in the last week. One is the birth of my baby girl Abby. I have more responsibility to my family now. The amount of time that I can go out and have a life outside of my home will change because of Abby. I am excited about this because I want to be a good father and husband to my wife and children. I also want to be a good example of a husband and father to the singles and married people without kid's that we are in contact with daily. I want people to see a good, healthy family structure. A family that is committed to each other beyond anything else. I think that this is rare for people to see.

The other significant change in my life is in YWAM. I feel called in a different direction. A different direction within YWAM. I want to be involved more long term in peoples lives. I feel that I am doing that a little bit now, but I want to be doing it more. I want to be connecting more with seekers, not just people who have already found the truth. Jesus says that He came to call sinners, not the righteous. Not that I want to work primarily with people who have not yet met Jesus, but I want to do it more.

I also want to be involved long term in peoples lives by "feeding His sheep. Jesus asked Peter to feed His sheep. This is not a one time deal. If we only feel sheep once it will only keep them alive till they starve to death. To feed His sheep means long term work. It is laboring with the sheep. The compliant ones and the rebellious ones. I want to feel Jesus sheep. I want to be involved more. I am not sure how this is going to look, but I know that Jesus wants me to figure it out with Him. I am grateful for the change that has happened and the change that I believe I am stepping into soon.

Well that is all the inspiration I have for tonight. I will be waking up in a couple of hours with Abby so I should sign off.

One more thing, Amy and I watched The Fastest Indian tonight. It was recommended to me by my friend Dave Laird. It is good, you should watch it some time.

My two sleeping beauties.

It is 2:58pm and my two little girls just fell asleep. We are all a bit tired lately, but very, very joyfully. This little girl Abby is going to bring so much to our family. It is great to see Emma trying to help out, even though she is always just a step away from dropping her. God has definitely blessed us. I pray that I never forget.

Jesus, thank you so much for your gift to us. Thank you for putting my 3 girls (Amy Emma Abby) into my life. Help me to honor you in the way I serve and lead them. I am without words. -amen-

Pictures of Abby

First Night

Well it is 5:30am and we are almost through the first night with Abby. Man, she is cute. I will be good to get home and upload some pictures for you to see. It was a long night. I forgot how different it is having a newborn. I can't just put on Veggie Tales and go back to bed. Yesterday I was cursing Phil Visher, today I am realizing that he is a necessary annoiance.

I think that I am a parinoid dad. I always check to see if the baby is OK if she is quiet for a long period of time. I also jump up if I hear even the slightest noise wondering if she is fine. I was holding her earlier tonight and she felt hot so I grabbed the nurses nifty thermometer and checked her temperature. She was 99.9. I called the nurse and he came in and checked and she was 99.9. I figured that she was sick, but he just told me to take some blankets off of her as she was wrapped like a burrito on a hot mexican summer day.

I need to realize that God is in control of my little Abby's life. He kept her alive and growing in the womb and He will keep her growing outside of it. I sometimes forget that I am not in control and get all freaked out and worried. I hate when people say that they need to "let go and let God" so I am not going to say it, but I do need to trust my father and Abby's father more.

She is nursing now, so hopefully Amy and I can get some sleep. Thank you Jesus for this new journey and our new little girl Abby.

Abby Jayne Cunningham

So, we have a brand new baby girl. Her name is Abby Jayne Cunningham. She was born at 12:15 pm on Monday July 31, 2006. Abby weighed in at 9lbs 3oz. and was 20 " long. She is totally cute and healthy. I love her so much already. Amy did great, she is my new hero. I will post pictures as soon as I can.

Thanks for your prayers.

Phil

Here we go.

We are at the hospital waiting to have our baby. It is exciting and scary. I am proud of Amy. I think that she is going to do great, I hope I can go without saying anything stupid.

Later

Cigar

Well, it looks like tomorrow I will be smoking one of these bad boy's. Yep, that is right. My baby girl will be born. We are going into the hospital at 7:00 am or so to have a baby. If you think of us please pray. Sheesh, here we go again. Good times, I can't wait.

So tonight Amy and I sat with Emma and thought about how things are going to change. We took our video camera and asked Emma to say some words for the baby. She told her that she will see her tomorrow and that she will be changing her poopy diapers. Sweet.

Well good night to you all and I will write again when I am with my new baby girl.

Ride the Ducks

Yesterday I went on Ride The Ducks with Amy, Emma and her mom and dad. It was great. Seriously, it ruled. As a local in satellite I figured it would be cheesy and embarrassing. Well it was that, but I did learn a lot about my city that I haven't known until now. Also, as we were down town on the tour there was a guy shooting at people at the Jewish Federation offices 4 blocks away. It was quite the time.

Anyway, if you are ever in Seattle and looking for something to do, or if you are a local and have people coming to visit and you want them to spend $22 on you then I encourage you to Ride The Ducks.

Emma even got to drive.

Invisible Children

Tonight was our final night of Mission Adventures for the summer of 2006. WOW! Tonight we watched the Invisible Children video and talked about purpose. The Invisible Children tells a story of thousands of children between the ages of 8-14 in N. Uganda who are abducted and forced to fight in the Lords Resistance Army (LRA). The LRA kidnaps children and forces them to fight for them. They teach them how to kill or be killed. The reason that they chose children is that they are the most teachable and obedient. Sort of like people get children as slaves because they are better workers. It is sick. The leader of the LRA is a man named Joseph Kony.

The Invisible Children video documents these children who leave their homes in the village and walk for miles each night into the city centers to sleep in safety. The reason they walk is to avoid getting kidnapped. 3 guy's went to N. Uganda and documented this injustice and there is change happening as a result.

Tonight I challenged the students to wake up. Wake up and become aware of the injustice that is all over our world. Wake up and do something. We have the power to change the world, but we are to busy sitting on our asses waiting for someone else to do it. Well no one else is doing it, they are waiting for us. I encourage you to check out the Invisible Children and see what God would have you do.

Thanks.

Crazy from the heat

I am not complaining, well not to much, but it is real hot in Seattle. These last few day's it has been in the 90's. That is fahrenheit for all you Canadians reading. So yea, it is hot. We have one more week of Mission Adventures left, my wife is officially over due and it is hot. Did I mention that it is hot?

Now I am complaining that it is hot and I am only carrying around my slightly overweight belly. I can't even imaging what my wife must be going through carying around out daughter. We would appreciate your continued prayers as we go through this time.

Anyway, we will get through. This week is our biggest week of the summer. We have 2 youth groups coming through with a total of 46 people. Both groups are going to Costa Rica for their outreach. It will be an exciting week as it is always a different feel when there are more people and I expect that Amy and I will have a new baby girl. Anyway, please pray for us during this next week that our staff would be excited and finishing strong and that God would move in the lives of everyone coming through the program. We are excited about what He has already done so far.

Why God?

Today was a hard day for me. Today should be a day of celebration as it is the due date of our soon to be born little girl, but it turned out to be a day of hurt instead of a day of celebration.

Two things happened today that were very hard and had me asking a lot of questions. 1st, I attended the memorial of Dylan Church, who was Shawn and Kristins son. Shawn is the pastor of Maple Leaf Evangelical Church here in Seattle. Their boy Dylan was due 3 weeks after Amy was due, but a week and a half ago they found out that he had died in the womb. On Friday July 14 Kristin Church delivered her baby boy Dylan who was 6lb 2 oz and just over 19" long. Today, on Amy's due date I attended Dylans memorial service. I asked myself the question why over and over. I also just sat there in sadness for the family of this boy Dylan.

Later on in the day I helped my friend Athena move out of her apartment and into a room in a house in the Central District. Athena and Pat, her husband recently split up after approx. 6 years. The hard thing is that Pat and Athena have two young boy's, Sean and Cian. It was so hard to see the boy's as I know that they are wondering why their mom and dad are not together anymore and why they have to move. I wonder how Athena is going to do with her boy's and with moving. There were once again so many questions.

I trust Jesus, and I know that His heart is grieved. It is hard to see friends go through such hard times. It was weird as today was supposed to be a day of celebration as our daughter was to be born (she is not here yet), but it turned out to be a day of questions and hardship seeing the hurt that my friends were and are going through. I wish I could write better and express the feelings I have, but I wanted to share what I could.

Thanks

Baby ?

Well it is 4 day's till Amy's due date for our second baby. I have to tell you that I am excited and terrified at the same time. Yesterday I spent a portion of the day reading The Birth Partner and started to get a little freaked out. Man, the things that a woman has to go through to birth a baby. Unbelievable. It is crazy to think that this is one of the results of the fall. Wow!

The reason that I got scared is because my life is about to change. I don't know when it is going to change, but it could be before I finish this post. I was praying tonight and I felt like God told me that it is going to be OK. Those words were totally comforting to me. Thank you God. I hope that I can be a good partner to Amy in the hospital. They said in the book that I need to be physically strong to massage her and push on her back and legs. I hope I am strong enough. They also said that there will come a point where my jokes will no longer be funny. Man, I am screwed. Pray for me.

I think it is also hard because my family is so far away from us. I wish that my mom and dad and the rest of my family could be here, or at least closer. It is such an amaizing thing to be apart of and they are missing it. I am greatfull for digital cameras and the internet though. Thank you World Wide Web guy. Anyway, just wanted to post and keep you updated. I will let you know when my little girl comes into the world.

Later.

Baby?

Well it is July 14 and as you can tell from the picture there is no baby yet. Amy and I are expecting our 2nd girl on July 22nd. We are hoping for her to come earlier, but we will see. Most people who I have talked to seem to think that Monday July 17th will be the day. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

I am not sure how I feel about our families new addition. Don't get me wrong, I am totally excited, but a little nervous about starting over again. I feel that we have done a pretty good job with Emma, I hope that we can do it again with our new little girl who we have yet to have a name for. Some questions that I have are How different will she be? Will she be a good sleeper? Will she cry lot's? Will Emma like her?

There is also the thought of giving total care to another person. She will be totally dependent on us for a long time. She can't communicate, can't walk or crawl and can't just go to the fridge to get her old man a beer. Man, what will I do? The thing that I know is that as soon as she is born all of these things will pass away, well except for the beer thing (just kidding). When I see my little girls face for the 1st time it will be over. Just joy and love and excitement.

There is also the thought of the hospital and labor. Oh man, talk about a time to be totally selfless and not say anything stupid to your wife like does it hurt? Owe, stop squeezing my hand so hard, you have no idea how much that hurts. Yes, I do need your prayers for that, as does my wife.

For those of you reading this who have 2 kid's any advice would be appreciated. For those of you who have 1 or none your prayers are appreciated. Thanks and I will keep you posted. By the way, for those of you wondering. Yes, the pictures were taken at the Apple Store with the Mac Book Pro.

Later

Mr. T

I am sitting here at my kitchen table drinking good Thailand Peaberry coffee and reading about Mr. T. Yep, you read right, Mr. T. I am attaching an article from Yahoo News about how Mr. T went to visit the destruction of Hurricane Katrina and decided, based on the disaster of it that he would hang up his gold. Wow on many levels. One is that I was reading Yahoo News. It was a link from Relevant Magazine so I don't feel that bad. Wow also that Mr. T is going non-gold.

I met Mr. T in LA in 95. I was helping the Fred Jordan Mission down at Skid Row serve their anual Thanksgiving dinner and T was hanging around greeting everyone. Man, what a cool experience that was for me an old A-Team fan. Anyway, good for Mr. T for taking a stand. I hope it lasts. Here is the article.

Fri Jul 14, 9:01 AM ET

Mr. T has given himself a makeover. The former television action star shed the piles of gold chains that were his signature look after witnessing the destruction from Hurricane Katrina.

"As a spiritual man, I felt it would be a sin against my God for me to wear all that gold again because I spent a lot of time with the less fortunate," the actor said Thursday at the Television Critics Association's summer meeting.

"I saw some, I call it `sorry celebrities.' They'll go down there and hook up with the people to take a photo-op. I said, `How disgusting.' If you're not going to go down there with a check and a hammer and a nail to help the people, don't go down there."

Mr. T, whose real name is Lawrence Tero, stars in "I Pity the Fool" debuting in October on TV Land. He dispenses advice to viewers who are struggling with life's problems.

The former star of "The A-Team" said he's about more than his rough-and-tough image.

"Yes, I am qualified to beat people up. But I am pretty intelligent," he said. "That's what throws people off. If you've been through something, that gives you an authority that you can speak on certain things. That's why people relate to me. I pull no punches."

Old Fashioned

Sometimes I wonder if I have an old fashioned view of Jesus and Christianity. I mean, I was sitting in our Mission Adventures Staff meeting tonight and it was just depressing. it is like people are looking at themselves and their problems and not to Jesus. I am not diminishing anyones problems and saying that they are not real, I am just saying that I feel that people that I come into contact with lately who are so called postmodern or whatever you want to call it just depress me.

I am not trying to pull a blanket over everyone, I am just frustrated. Is Jesus enough? I think so. In that though, I feel that some people feel that the answer is more than Jesus. I hear people say the answer is Jesus and feeding someone. Or Jesus and bringing justice. I feel that Jesus is the only answer, but that through Jesus and our love and commitment to Him we will be bringers of Justice and of those other things.

I may be saying the same thing as my friends who I get frustrated with, but I feel that there is a uprising of pessimistic, depressing Christ Followers that make me just want to scream. Am I old fashioned in that I want to get excited about Jesus instead of sitting there all inward focused and deconstructing everything that I have ever been taught about faith, Jesus and mission? I hope not, and I don't think so. Am I just making things to simple by thinking that Jesus is God and cares about us and wants to work in us so that we can be a part of reaching the world for Him.

It is late and I am tired. I also wish I were better at putting things into words. Maybe later when it is not so late.

Good Night.

Father Daughter Day

Today I spend the day getting the baby room ready for the up and coming child and chillin with my baby girl Emma. It was totally cool. We had breakfast together with mommy at 10 after sleeping in. After breakfast we just puttered around the house and moved stuff out of the spare bedroom as we are turning it into a baby room. We cleared out our garage that is usually used to store Mission Adventures stuff and made room in there for an office so that I can work more from home and play Nintendo 64 without interruption.

After lunch Amy went to our friends baby shower and Emma and I went for a bike Ride. We rode our bikes down the street to the pet daycare and hung out with some dogs. Emma got to give one of them a treat and pet another one. She was all giggles about the whole thing.

After the doggy daycare, which I personally think is over the top, we proceeded to QFC to snack on some free samples. It was a good day as they had muffins, cookies, coffee and salmon. We sat on the sidewalk for a while beside our bikes and talked and snacked.

After that we rode down to the park and played an adventure game in the bushes. There were a lot of thorns there so we didn't stay for to long. Then we headed home and made some ice cream cones and waited for mommy.

You know I wonder if God ever has these kind of day's with me? The kind of day where we just hang out and he is excited to be with me. A day where at the end of it He wants to tell people about His time with his kid Phil. Wouldn't that be cool? In face, I think that it happens. I really think that God loves to just spend the day with us. He loves to walk with us, talk with us and enjoy company. It seems as though God and Adam had this kind of relationship. God made him and talked with him and I am sure they just walked together and hung out. He showed Adam all that he made and gave him instructions. I know that He must have walked and hung out with Him as it say's in Gen. 3:8 that Adam and Eve heard God walking in the Garden in the cool of the day so they hid.

It is so sad that out relationship with God was broken. What must it have been like? I want to hang out with God more. I want to walk with Him and talk with Him more. I want to blog about my cool day with God.

Today

What can I say? Today has been a hard, long, draining day. I have been lied to, accused in the wrong, deceived, and mislead. What a way to start out a blog. I am tired. I have been in meetings all afternoon and some of this evening dealing with issues involving some people I work with. The hard thing is that I trusted these people and was let down. There has been forgiveness and grace given, but I am hurt. I have released forgiveness, but I am angry and magerly let down. What can I do? What should I do?

I think that the reason I am hurt so much is because I released so much trust and energy only to be mocked. I guess that is what happens when you invest your time in people, sometimes you get hurt. It happened to Jesus, I mean they put him on a cross after he healed them and showed them the Father. Why should I be surprised that it would happen to me. It still hurts.

Thanks for listening to me.

Later.

Phil

Canada Day

Today is Canada day, so in honor of my fine country I am sitting down and enjoying a Labatt's and wanted to give you a brief history of how Canada came to be from Winkipedia

Canada Day celebrates the creation of the dominion of Canada through the British North America Act on July 1, 1867, uniting three British territories — the Province of Canada (southern Ontario and southern Quebec), Nova Scotia, and New Brunswick into a federation.

A proclamation was issued by Governor General Lord Monk, on June 20, 1868, asking for "all Her Majesty's loving subjects throughout Canada to join in the celebration of the anniversary of the formation of the union of the British North America provinces in a federation under the name of Canada on July 1."[1]
The holiday was formally established by statute in 1879, and was originally called Dominion Day, making reference to the term "dominion," which was first used to describe a political union within the British Empire for Canada, at a time when the British government was hesitant to adopt the name proposed by the Fathers of Confederation: Kingdom of Canada.
The name was changed to Canada Day on 27 October 1982, largely harking back to the adoption of the earlier Canada Act 1982.
On Dominion Day 1923, the Chinese Immigration Act of 1923 went into effect. Until the act was repealed in 1947, many Chinese-Canadians referred to July 1 as "Humiliation Day" and refused to celebrate Canada's birthday.
Quebec also has Moving Day on 1 July, due to the fact that most leases there begin and end on that day, with many people changing residences. Federalist Quebec residents who oppose the popular sovereigntist campaign for an independent Québec joke that Moving Day is scheduled to ensure Quebecers are too busy moving house to celebrate Canada Day.